Velociworld

AUNT MAY

I forgot to mention one thing in the recounting of Gene and Joe. Aunt May was not always a destitute Okie Cracker. In fact, she and her husband were quite well to do during the Roaring Twenties. They supposedly spent a debauched summer in Mexico with Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, and Scott had given her his Underwood typewriter.

When Mr. Aunt May divorced her and moved on, he left her two idiot manchildren and a million dollars worth of Piggly Wiggly stock.

A subsequent Lothario absconded with the stock, however, leaving her the idiot manchildren and some calico dresses.

I returned to her hovel after that funeral, and tore up floorboards and kicked over chiffer robes looking for that Underwood, alternately possessed with the ideas of owning the machine that had perhaps scripted The Great Gatsby, and wondering what the fucker would fetch on Ebay.

I couldn't find sech a beast. Maybe it was folklore, maybe a more enterprising relative had scored it earlier, maybe Aunt May had pawned it in 1969 to pay for some dogfood for dinner. Who knows?

Relatives. They never give me shit.