September 2, 2005
OW!
I realize this is a rather indelicate subject, but I have a warhead the size of a fucking bomber marble on my taint meat. Woke up widdit.
Now, one of two things will happen: 1) this thing will subside overnight, and all is peachy in Velociworld. 2) it is even more robust tomorrow, and Dr. V must operate.
I pray for the former. The contortions alone involved in the latter make me shudder. Although the payoff would be oh so very sweet.
I really didn't need that visual. Ewww.
Posted by: BeeBee at September 2, 2005 5:43 PMI think I'm gonna be sick.
Posted by: phin at September 2, 2005 6:00 PMSlap a little piece of bacon on it and cover it with a bandaid. (Watch the pubes, though) The bacon will draw the 'warhead' to a...well...to a head.
Added bonus...you'll have every dog in the neighborhood sniffin your crotch. Or your wife tryin to fry an egg on your ass. heh
Posted by: Pammy at September 2, 2005 6:31 PMSo, if one is not spitting, the other will be?
Posted by: Dana at September 2, 2005 6:36 PMGot-DAMN!
I've seen it all now. (And done most of it.)
Shitblogging, fartblogging, boogerblogging. But Zitblogging?!!?
'Tain't boilblogging?
"Velociman ain't right. We know that." Haw!
[Don't ferget to post an update.]
Posted by: Elisson at September 2, 2005 10:03 PMPictures my good man, pictures...
Posted by: rightisright at September 2, 2005 11:29 PMWashrag soaked in hot epsom salt solution.
I say webcam.
Posted by: og at September 2, 2005 11:42 PM... there seems to be a pattern to where you develop boils...
Posted by: Eric at September 3, 2005 7:51 AMTwas only a matter of time before the Velocitaint got tapped and drained like a Vermont Maple. Just thought it would happen at one of those Writer's Conferences you hold.
Posted by: Anna at September 4, 2005 12:54 AMSeems to me that the VelociBride could help you out with that.
Sometimes us wimmenfolk are called to duties beyond the call of such.
Posted by: Beth Donovan at September 6, 2005 8:31 PM