Velociworld

Yeah...wait until one of the fuckers uses the tub, of a balmy midnight, and soft wet legs close around his waist, and wet lips whisper into his ear pictures of the hell that awaits, as a dessicated penis lolls against his shuddering spine...

Better get first, and last, and cleaning.

{shivers}

Damn, that was one heck of a narrative, Velociman. You should write that Stephen King crap, really...

I know what you mean about the spew. I cut that artery in my wrist one time (accidentally, of course) and sprayed bystanders 10 feet away. It wasn't a pretty sight when three people fainted at that sight. Luckily it was outside for easier clean up.

Those kids who thought it was cool ain't right.

Condolences to the wife. Nobody should have to ome on the last moments of anyone, I know, I've doe it often enough.

Ay, whatta story.

And leave it to my friend Bane to drop the Comment o' th' Day. Yeef.

Veins'll spew blood badly enough. One of my Work Colleagues popped a leg vein in the locker room after a round of golf; the damn thing looked like it was taking a piss, except it was blood. But an artery? That'd be like a damn firehose.

skin crawling....

I can relate... I too am a property manager. The job sucks, I do it for family as I never would have picked this line of work for myself... I kinda go suckered in. A few years back I had a guy try to shoot himself in the head in one of my apartments.. luckly he didn't aim too well and only would up in the hospital psyc ward without an eye... still the mess, oh the mess.

I used to walk my Rottweiler through this unsavory neighborhood at night. One time, we went to go through the parking lot of a squalid bar, and we encountered a big circle of police tape. It seems two Mexicans had dueled with knives over something, and had filleted each other most dramatically.

The pool of blood covered at least three car spaces, and looked deep enough to ski on. Right in the center of it was a good sized chunk of chitlin, some part of someone's intestine.

My Rotty, maddened by the smell, wanted to get at that snausage in the worst way. It was all I could do to hold her back as she whimpered and scrabbled to get at that morsel.

The whole rest of the walk, she would turn and look back over her shoulder wistfully, and then give me the hurt look.

Is it bad of me to laugh at the new tenants reaction?

I've been a property manager for most of my adult life and, thankfully, have never had anyone die or commit suicide in any of my places. This surprises the hell out of me considering some of the tenants I've come across.

I have a funny feeling that it's only a matter of time though.

If the Bride ever happens upon another rental property where the former tenant has left this mortal coil under some "less than ideal" circumstances, be sure to let me know. Hanging, slit-wrists, maybe a disembowlment...it's all good.

In my debt-ridden state, it's probably the only way I'll ever get into a house wit my old lady and chillins.

I've worked for a property management company for almost 15 years in the D/FW area. If your portfolio has enough units in it, you will come accross it sooner or later. I've had two suicides, two murders, one police shooting, and three deaths that were found due to the smell and flies...GOD THE FLIES!! HUGES FLIES!..and thousands of them... And you NEVER forget that smell. Intersting side note: met really interesting couple who are in the bio-hazard cleanup business. Bless those folks....what a stinkin job.

Thoroughly disgusting with comic relief at the end, the Velocipost naturally, AND Bane's comment...

(Bane, I think it was that wistful "hurt look" that made that one postworthy. :D)

I have to try and spice up V-Mans dreary posts, somehow, the poor thing.

One time, we went to go through the parking lot of a squalid bar, and we encountered a big circle of police tape. It seems two Mexicans had dueled with knives over something, and had filleted each other most dramatically.