Velociworld

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I don't blog beg too much, as I consider it unseemly. But I have a real issue here, and needs some hep.

A little background: in every east coast community you have what is known as the Westside. This is where the trash lives. Because the farther away from the coast you get, the faster you run into rural crap. Neckbones, and such. Here in Jax the westside is west of the St. John's River, and it is called Orange Park.

Now, actually, OP ain't bad. They've built some wonderful communities over there. The trouble is they've overbuilt, because everyone knows that developers, when they are short of cash in a poker game, pull a county commissioner's pecker out of their wallets, and slap it on the table, and everyone knows it is legal tender.

And so Clay County, OP, is choking on overdevelopment. They need to funnel a fucking shitload of people into downtown, Duval County, and they have decided the best way to do that is to build a new bridge across the river, and dump all that traffic through my bucolic St Johns County.

Listen: St Johns is already the 9th fastest growing county in the country. We have our own overdevelopment issues. What we don't need is an additional highway with an additional 35,000 daily commuters mucking up the mix. I can barely get out of the neighborhood now.

But these, these cocksuckers in Clay want to foist their problem on us, and that sucks, Intrepids.

We will get screwed in this deal, of course. It is a slow motion moment. When I lived in Atlanta I once sat on the curb on Ponce de Leon and watched 40 cars slowly plow into each other after an ice storm. Slow, casual, inexorable. You could count 10, 15 seconds between lockdown and impact.

That's what I'm seeing now. And so I know this new bridge will get stuck up our collective asses, but the further south the better, as it will funnel these neckbones up the middle of the county instead of up my ass. The pretty part.

So do me a favor, please. Go to this site, scroll down to St Johns Sunpoll, and vote for Near Current Shands Bridge. Do not under any circumstances vote for that Popo Point option, because that would put my dear friends' docks under the shadow of a monster bridge, and drive that traffic right up my keister.

This is the home of the beautiful William Bartam Trail. Don't let these heathens despoil my virgin quality of life, and that of my neighbors. Fucking Westsiders.

Thank you. And spread the word.

UPDATE: Doh! moment: you can vote every 30 minutes.