August 17, 2005
GRAND CHASM
In the mid-late '60's the Senator bragged about how he was saving money for a Grand Trip. Was going to close out his calendar and take us all on an epic adventure to the Grand Canyon, and other points southwest. Weeks would be involved.
My brother and I were smitten, of course, and plotted our adventures. So you can imagine our chagrine, and anger, when the Senator came home one night in 1968, smelling faintly of Canadian whisky, and announced he had squandered the vacation fund, all $20 grand worth, on a river cottage in Bluffton, South Carolina. A vacation bungalow, where we would spend six months of the year.
We were furious. Where was the Grand Canyon? The Painted Desert? Them whateverthefuck Caverns out there in Carlsbad? We'd been shined!
Of course, once my bro and I had dipped in the salty brine of the May River off the dock, and water-skiied, and found our first dead flying squirrel, we were mollified. That place was the gift that kept on giving.
Fuck the Grand Canyon. Saw that at Helen. No, that river place was wonderful, especially since we had been dragooned, like chain gang convicts, to a farm for the last few years.
Simone Griffeth down the road, Stiles trying to pop this puppy's can, ah, the glory days.
And so, to this day, I've never seen the Grand Canyon actually. Just flown over. But just a question: isn't it a huge area filled with nothing? And you need to ride a spavined donkey to explore that nothingness up close and personal? That doesn't seem very impressive. I give the Senator this one.
Once you've lived on the water, nothing else quite measures up.
Posted by: mike at August 17, 2005 11:23 PMWalked to the bottom...the river...and back a couple of times.
It's just a big ass ditch...no problem.
Posted by: Yabu at August 17, 2005 11:35 PM.... I was leaning towards visiting the ditch this year... next month, actually... but The Wife chose NYC instead... at first I was disappointed... but then I heard that they have donkeys you can ride in Manhattan..
Posted by: Eric at August 18, 2005 8:22 AMDisneyland was in that trip too.
Posted by: Belinda at August 18, 2005 9:37 AMMy old man had a cabin on Bear Creek, an Alabama tributary of the Tennessee River. He also had a 16 foot Chris Craft woody that all the ladies at the State Park loved and a 21 foot Century Arabian with a Dodge wedge in it that would pull 12 punks that knew what they were doing on a waterski.
It was perhaps the greatest period of my entire life, those years with my friends and my old man at the lake. I know that time influenced who I became and left me with the fondest of all my memories. Even if I tried, I could not thank my old man enough. It's truly a debt I will never be able to repay.
So yea, fuck the Grand Canyon and three cheers for The Senator. He knew what he was doing.
Posted by: bitterman at August 18, 2005 10:22 AMHell Eric, they have donkeys you can blow in New York.
Posted by: Velociman at August 18, 2005 5:55 PM.. you sick fuck...
Posted by: Eric at August 18, 2005 6:16 PMReally, you should do the Grand Canyon. You've had the cabin, now it's time to do the ditch. The best of both worlds!
*And you really don't have to do a donkey to do the ditch.*
Posted by: Dogsdontpurr at August 18, 2005 6:22 PMDoesn't that just mess you up..when they do something recognizably right every now and then. Oh the chasm that creates in one's brain.
Posted by: Kelly at August 19, 2005 4:18 PMThe Grand Canyon is indeed worth the trip.
Just to see it up close and personal, not from and airplane, is so very cool.
And it's not that far from there to the meteor crater....
Hell yes he knew what he was doing. That 20k would be more like 1 million now (depending on where in Bluffton and how much property it's on).
I drove a Navy buddy of mine from Atlanta to just north of LA about 18 years ago (in 3.5 days, hehe). We slept twice. Stopped at the Grand Canyon, got out, had a couple of smokes, got someone to snap our picture and got the hell back in the truck and drove on our merry way. Yes, I have seen the Grand Canyon.
Posted by: Richard at August 19, 2005 8:25 PMIt's one whole lot of nothing gathered all together in one place. Most impressive.
There's "seeing" the Grand Canyon and then there's experiencing it. A mule is one way. But Indian Gardens and back is a dayhike for anyone in reasonable shape. And if putting a backpack on and getting in a little ways is your thing, I highly recommend hiking into Havasupai Falls and camping. You'll need a permit in advance for that though. If adrenaline is your thing, there's also whitewater rafting.
Still if I'd had the choice of what the Senator got for you, I'd have chosen the same thing. But if you get the chance now, the Grand Canyon is worth a visit. Just don't do the "peer over the edge, snap a picture, back in the truck" routine.
Posted by: Desert Cat at August 21, 2005 9:25 PMIf'n I weren't so buzzed I might have a witty retort to your big ditch theory. See'ns how I'm from the Gradn Canyon State and have been down and out a number of times. Suffice to say, it ain't no big ditch.
More to follow with requisite trackback...
Posted by: Spud King at August 22, 2005 11:22 PM