August 13, 2005
PETROL LUST
Do you think it is mere coincidence, serendipity, that the President's ranch is in Crawford, Texas? Hell, no. That is a sign of a benevolent, but amused Godhead. When I play Masters of the Universe, I play for keeps. Don't you?
Having said that, my drunken ass paid $2.73 a gallon for premium last night. They don't call it a pump for nothing. I think it's time for my fearless leader Chimpy Bush McHitler to demand his pecker be retrieved from the Saudis' back pocket. I want to see 20 new state of the art nuclear power plants cranking out megawatts like Al Franken cranks out blowjobs. I want to see oilfields littering the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. I want to see three dozen offshore derricks off the Florida coast (I'm no NIMBY).
I want to tell the House of Saud to Fuck Off.
Of course, I could practice abstemious behaviour when it comes to energy consumption, buy a hybrid or motorcycle, and actively contribute to energy conservation.
But that's not the American Way, guddamit! I was raised as a consumer of resources. That is my birthright, and my cultural sweet spot. You multiculti's must respect that.
I want some cheap oil. I am an addict. I crave the stuff. I cannot believe we didn't take over the Iraqi oil fields. Fuck! If not now, when? I'm writing my Senator.
You nailed it - the American way! Here's the unsecret plan: We're going to drain every last drop of black sap out of the ground, just so they ain't none left for all the second and third world suckers. And then, just as the last drop of the last barrel goes up in Hummer fumes, we'll leverage out of the petrol economy to nutrinos or somesuchshit and leave the rest of the world scratching their asses with donkey-powered sitcks. Now THAT's the American way.
Posted by: Chai-rista at August 13, 2005 4:14 PMI'm with you. Yes, I *DID* buy a Cadillac, which requires premium gas, but by damn, I am fulfilling my responsibility as an American, with conspicuous consumption! Screw the Saudis... put pumps in the ANWAR, and off-shore. I needs me some oil, people!
Posted by: Candy at August 13, 2005 9:54 PMEven at $3.00 a gallon, gasoline is cheaper now (in inflation-adjusted dollars) than it was under the Jimmah Carter regime. Plus it's not rationed, nor do you have to wait in line to get it.
Kim... you're old enough to remember those days.
Posted by: Acidman at August 13, 2005 11:18 PMIt's still not as bad as under Jimmy? Is that the best we can do? It's still not as bad as it was when a friggin idiot ran the country.
This post would make a great stump speech.
Posted by: Key at August 14, 2005 1:22 PMYes indeed.
Posted by: Yabu at August 14, 2005 3:08 PMHe's a Guilty White Liberal, but 10% of the country calls him Hitler because of the fucking "R" next to his name. Change it to a "D," that same 10% will either love him, or feel indifferent. Still, he's probably the most ineffective prez we've had since Carter, but Bill Clinton steals the gold from him in the "Biggest Asshole" department.
And to top things off, we just might be creating a super-Iran by allowing the Shi'ites to run Iraq. If that turns out to be the case, the Moonbats ought to fucking congradulate him for putting an end to the decades-long sense of hostility between the two nations.
Posted by: Kalafan at August 19, 2005 3:21 AM