August 11, 2005
FREAKSHOW
Chang and Eng were Siamese Twins, conjoined at the sternum. As a matter of fact, they were Siamese Siamese Twins! What do you think the fucking odds of that are?
They were discovered by one of those Ugly American Sideshow Promoters (think King Kong) and taken to America. They eventually made a decent living touring with PT Barnum (and I mean, who didn't?). Then they settled down in North Carolina, adopted the surname of Bunker from Bunker Hill, and married two sisters.
Now, far be it from me to cast aspersions on another's (er, anothers') misfortunes, but damn: Eng sired 12 children, Chang sired 10. I may not be the most demure individual, but I'll be damned if I'd want anyone, even my brother, attached to me while I was doing the nasty.
I imagine they began with some type of modest arrangement, sheets draped, divider erected, but I'll wager after the third or fourth child it just turned into a screwfest, with Eng banging away whilst Chang played whist. Or polished the pagoda.
Probably pretty eerie stuff having someone attached to your lover, and when your lover comes both of their eyeballs roll back in their heads. Or the other guy is the only one to grunt at climax. As I say, eerie stuff.
I've heard of long-suffering brides, but I'd like what these girls had bottled.
Funny thing: they say that they were only attached by cartilage, although they shared a liver, and that the separation surgery was not that difficult even for mid-nineteenth century medicine.
Which leads me to believe that those Siamese perverts probably just dug it.
It gets kinkier still. The wifely ladies were sisters.
Posted by: Mrs. Marla Randolph Stevens at August 11, 2005 7:10 PM... The Wife bought their biography a few years ago... crazy stuff...
Posted by: Eric at August 11, 2005 7:14 PMFirst time here, and I laughed long and hard.
Posted by: Theresa at August 11, 2005 7:23 PMI've heard the 10 and 12 numbers before, and was amused. I think you may as well say, THEY had 22 offspring.
As for who sired whom, does it really matter? No one would be questioning the resemblance either way.
Posted by: Key at August 11, 2005 7:43 PMI'd be appalled if I hadn't actually wondered the same things myself about the Bunker twins. Thankfully, I never put it to words.
Posted by: Chablis at August 11, 2005 9:17 PMHad it not been for Chang and Eng, conjoined twins would have just been...stuck-together twins.
Or maybe "The Family That's Stuck Together, Makes Fuck Together" twins.
Posted by: Elisson at August 11, 2005 9:54 PM"Me love you twice as long time"
Posted by: Bane at August 11, 2005 9:57 PMI think what really really bothers me is... I had been wondering about all this for years, ever since I heard about their story. And to think I was on the same wave length as Velociman... Scary stuff!
Posted by: Boudicca at August 11, 2005 11:14 PMI think they also invented the clusterfuck.
Posted by: Dash at August 12, 2005 12:21 AMThey "shared a large bed built for four", their first two children were born six days apart, and all was fine until they had too many children and the economy didn't keep pace with that, stressing out the wives, who started fighting with each other.
The twins made the big mistake of getting involved in the wives' squabbles which led to them fighting with each other -- which must've looked something like the well-oiled white boy tussles I read about earlier on this website.
Chang's whiskey drinking started getting intense and, in fit of responsive pique, Eng went on a poker-playing spree. I can just see Eng getting pissed with Chang about getting them both drunk and causing him to lose all of Chang's money.
They decided that, if they couldn't separate themselves, they could at least separate the wives, so they built separate houses for them a couple of miles apart and the brothers alternated staying three days in each for the rest of their lives except for the occasional tours where they'd take one kid apiece on the road for a year at a time "when times got rough" -- which, under those circumstances, I can see happening not infrequently.
Man, it must be a long hot summer down south. - ds
Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy at August 12, 2005 9:15 AMso, the hot nasty sex, would that have been technically a menage a trois, or a menage a quatre? Just curious about the technicalities.
Think they ever got mixed up in the dark?
Posted by: hoosierboy at August 12, 2005 9:54 AMFunny the things that stick with you through the years. There was a work of fiction produced in the 80s about a woman who married a man who was co-joined. Its really a story from the woman's veiwpoint about her take on the wierd circumstances (that is not the only one) of her life. The narration of what she feels and how she veiws the activities of her marriage are presented in a totally understandable way.
Posted by: Suzette at August 12, 2005 10:24 AMAttachments by Judith Rossner 1977
Posted by: Suzette at August 12, 2005 10:24 AM"Polishing the pagoda" is my first snorter for the day.
Thanks Vman.
P.
Posted by: Light & Dark at August 12, 2005 11:31 AMOh man, I am so going to hell... you made me think about the Hensel twins when they grow up.
"Abby, can I use the, uh, "parts" tonight?" "Uh, no, actually I was gonna stay home and study. Besides, that guy is a jerk, and..."
Posted by: Justthisguy at August 13, 2005 12:26 AMOnly you, Vman, could write something like this! *L* Hope all is well in sunny Florida and you don't have to dodge that many hurricanes this fall.
Posted by: Michele at August 13, 2005 10:50 AMUnfortunately Vman's remarks are remarkably ordinary, and extremely common. They are boring, plain, unamusing and mundane. Completely typical of the torrent of swill that a few little original and worthy thoughts sometimes bobble ontop of.
Posted by: slowth at October 7, 2005 7:54 PMThe Hensel twins have their own web page (with some BIZZARO pix):
http://67.102.243.28/_vti_txt