August 7, 2005

NOSTALGIA

I grew up in a simpler time, I'll admit that. Despite the Cold War, the world was somehow less complex. Binary. They Bad, We Good.

Priests would submit forms in triplicate before they attempted to fondle your nuggets. Scout Masters would fill up your parents' gas tanks before trying to sniff your behind. Things were respectful, like.

My parents lived a simple credo, which I call the Trinity of Denial:

No minibikes

No trampolines

No monkeys

If you could adhere to those few simple rules, life was okay.

Posted by Velociman at August 7, 2005 6:48 PM
Comments

Conversely, if you knew anybody who had a monkey that could ride a minibike on a trampoline, you knew that he was Well and Truly Fucked.

Posted by: Elisson at August 7, 2005 7:33 PM

No minibikes, trampolines or monkeys? Blog meets musta been pretty boring back in the good ole days.

Posted by: zonker at August 7, 2005 7:33 PM

Yep, and the first thingI did when I got away from my parents was to get a monkey. Now I know why they said no monkeys, freaky little masturbating fucks.

Posted by: GUYK at August 8, 2005 7:57 AM

Well, I had the monkey, but the other two were the cause of more casts on my friends than I can count. People who hate their kids buy them trampolines.

And you're right, GUYK, my monkey would wait until he had an audience, and then proceed to suck himself off. A talent I quite envied.

Posted by: Bane at August 8, 2005 6:31 PM

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