Velociworld

Pharisees.

They exist still today. I call them Smarmites.

Yeah, my mom found that out when she was scouring the net for crochet patterns. If'n she'd try to right click on a picture or text to copy, sure as hell if it was a Christian site you'd get that little piece of cat shite box that tells you that you can't steal from their page.

I taught her ways around that, ways which she took to with unholy glee, pilfering and ripping patterns by the megabyte.

Screw 'em good.

BTK was a churchgoer. So was Judas Iscariot.

We gopt two types here; the Southern Baptists and the Christian Reformed or Dutch reformed, whom the locals call "woodenjews". Rip you off six ways to sunday, but ON sunday, they close down their businesses to pray.

As kiddie diddling priests are drawn to catholicisim (and the C of E, ask any brit educated kid) so scumbag jagdorks are drawn to calvinisim- They've been saved, see? so John 3:16 allows them to do anything they like, they're gonna get to heaven anyway. The stories I could tell you. Lift a white sheet, by the way, you're gonna see one of those guys.

Jennifer joined a church after she divorced me. She was still a bloodless cunt six days a week, but she sang hymns every Sunday.

Dead on, V-Man. I learned a long time ago that when someone you're doing business with tells you that they're 'born again', check your wallet.

Praise you brother!!!

Just like Islam is discovering that jihadists are hijaking their religion and morphing it into something hateful, Christianity is earning a bad reputation from the batshit crazies that claim to be Christian. I'm a Pisky vestryman with a viewpoint that no wingnut has ever expressed around me: "[May] thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." How the fuck can we do God's will down here if we're busy killing each other down here? We should all be engaging these people in the churches, in the Bible study groups, challenging them to rethink what they're being taught, getting them to take the risk of thinking for themselves. Religions were never about hurting each other.

As William S. Burroughs said, and I paraphrase, "Never trust a preacher, not with God telling him how to fuck you on the deal."

We've got those people that sweep our neighborhood every weekend handing out pamplets to help us see the light and save our souls.
As my husband was pulling into the drive way, he had to motion one of them to move so he could park his car. Apparently this bible thumper was reading my pagan bumper sticker and more than likely seen my ever so sublte pentagram on our front gate. He nervously handed my husband the little pamplet and went on his way. The hub presents it to me as I get out of the shower.
"look what this nice man gave me honey! how did he know you taught the devil everything he knows and your sould needs saving?!".

This is SO f**king true! The guy who really screwed me over early in my career was a born-again little prick who wore saddle shoes and pink golf sweaters. Always quoting the Bible, right after lying through his teeth. I got even with him, though. After I quit his crappy company for a better job, I ran into him at a Toys R Us. I invited him out into the parking lot. When he declined, I called him a pussy in front of his wife and kids. Ah, that felt good!

As William S Burroughs put it: "If you're ever doing business with a religious son-of-a-bitch, GET IT IN WRITING! His word isn't worth shit, not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal...:

I call'em "them churchy fucks". period.

"Religions were never about hurting each other."

Nonsense. How do you expect people to get to heaven if they aren't dead?

What?

Amen, Ms Harris, amen.

My Uncle Billy Joe allowed that you could tell if it was a preacher leaving a house if he was counting his money or zipping up his pants.

Like my daddy said, "If someone has to tell you they are a Christian you better hold on to your wallet."

Rick

Anyhoo, I despise a churchgoer who is a backstabbing cunt at the business table.

Hey, churchgoing backstabbing cunts aren't perfect. They're just forgiven.

I know it's late to be posting, but I gotta add.

Many of you made remarks about being cunts 6 days a week and what not. Apparently none of you have ever worked in a restaurant on Sunday Fucking Morning!

It is the day every waiter dreads. You are slammed out the ying yang and bent over six ways to sunday.

Something snaps after church lets out. The horns come out. Church crowd consists of large groups of angry people ordering around the help. No woman orders more than a salad, no child has their own plate. No person other than the father enjoys a beverage that isn't water. Unless its free, then the kiddos drinks are amazingly emptied by the women at lightening speed.

After you are yelled throughout the whole affair, they leave your area trashed and you are lucky if they left you a 10% tip. God doens't get more than that, why should you?

Ever wonder why so many waiters are klutzes on sunday burnches? Its no coincidence or hang over? You walk in with a PHD (Pentacostal Hair Do) you will wear your ice water with lemon!