July 28, 2005
VH1
My end of day usually involves me arriving home from work to an empty house, chirren off to play with friends or boyfriends, spouse working late, and EVERY FUCKING TELEVISION IN THE HOUSE ON. All on VH1.
My children think of electricity as a God-given right, an asset to be squandered as Paris Hilton squanders her vagina. I cannot make them turn off a fucking TV if they leave the room, much less the house.
And VH1! Fucking Ada. That channel blows mules. It is 24/7, incessant, ad nauseum celebrity dish. The very thing that makes the veins throb on the Velocibrow. The cuntish self-congratulatory horseshit that ennervates me.
Losers, crimps, spungs, feebs, all being dished by some fat no-name queers that VH1 has found in a bath house, passed out with cum on their lips.
The Insignificant, weighing in on the Insignificant.
It is a nightmare. And on five televisions, playing at a Velocihovel near you.
Not to make excuses for my behavior, but can you blame me for walking in, snatching the fucking cord out of every TV, and mixing myself a stiff one every day? Then retiring to the pool, where I attempt to find that very wicked spot where the jet pulses my cock?
I am being chill, as far as I am concerned. No one's died yet.
And a patient man you are. Oh, how's the book coming along?
Posted by: mudmarine at July 28, 2005 10:48 PMNot good. The protagonist died in Chapter 2. Fucker deserved it, too.
Posted by: Velociman at July 28, 2005 10:54 PMIt could be worse.
They could be leaving the Tee Vee on Lifetime during golden girls marathons.
The protagonist: didja Pigbitch 'im?
Posted by: kelley at July 28, 2005 11:04 PMProtagonist! Hell, there is no shortage of that type in the world. Just create the idea man behind VH1 as a new character in Chapter 3. Get it going man, not too many years I'll be too damn blind to read. And what the hell were the rules on to and too anyway?
Posted by: mudmarine at July 28, 2005 11:12 PMOh, hell phin, the 6th TV, in the bedroom, is on Golden Girls 24/7. That Bea Arthur, tho. Yowwrrr!
Posted by: Velociman at July 28, 2005 11:16 PMGood freaking god, V-Man -- that cursed VH1 is the bane of my existence, too. Even the freaking Golden Girls would be better, if someone held a gun to my head and forced me to choose.
Posted by: david at July 28, 2005 11:27 PMThe first time I left the TV on I was warned.
The second time my mum just poured water on it and we spent the next 3 years without one.
Posted by: DaveJ at July 29, 2005 3:12 AMI love 'The Fabulous Life Of..' series on VH1.
Lives vicariously, I does. My favorite one is the Arnold Schwarzzenegger(?) episode.
I want his life.
Posted by: Bane at July 29, 2005 1:51 PMGolden Girls...right on man! That dang Betty White..she's so funny..but seriously my family don't know how to turn off a damn light or shut the fridge door...but I do drink so I don't get bothered too much :)
Posted by: Sandy at July 29, 2005 2:20 PMHere is how to teach them about electricity:
You get one of those stationary exercise bikes and rig up a belt powered 117vac alternator to the rear bike gear and plug the tv cord into the
receptacle of this belt powered alternator.
Place the tv in front of the handlebars.
Put your females on the bike and make them pedal away to watch their favorite program.
Believe me, after 10 minutes, a choice will have to be made by the peddlar.
The value of electricity gets you in the ass and legs!
Saludos,,,,,mc
Posted by: mrchuck at July 31, 2005 7:53 PMfuck vh1 in the ass with razor blades. their website said they were going to play behind the music on pantera today and instead they are playing 100 greatest teen stars. fucking faggots
Posted by: fuck vh1 at August 18, 2006 3:58 PM1st of all, long live gary busey man. that beeing said, i go to celebrity paranormal and see this scary hospital story. its funny seeing them act scared, i was scared a little every time i went in there. not by ghosts of dead tb patients but by the watchman and his dogs. i do admit its funny to see people scared sh#@less, ive seen friends get that scared up on that hill,and i was always very amused. though there were many people who died at waverly ill bet just as many kids were made in there, wink wink. busey is the man! i hope he nailed all those chicks
Posted by: bradley b at October 25, 2006 10:50 PM