July 2, 2005
LUAU!
I'm throwing a party for myself, because I am the Fucking Man. And I can't hear that enough, even if it comes from myself.
Fer instance: I was shaving this morning, and I paused, pointed my razor at my reflection, and said Velociman, you are the Fucking Man. Then I grinned.
And so I an throwing myself a bash, to celebrate, among other things, my brilliant parenting abilities, my prodigious lovemaking skills, and the blessed fact I do not possess webbed feet.
The featured repast is Frogmore Stew. I wanted a pig on a spit, with poi maybe, but I couldn't catch nary one of the bastards, and taro root is difficult to find. The stew will do fine.
Wish me well. I am the Fucking Man.
Nobody does it better.
Posted by: og at July 2, 2005 10:00 PMWebbed feet come in handy sometimes.
Posted by: Dash at July 2, 2005 10:38 PMOff course, that celebratory blow job can be kind of problematic...
Posted by: rankin rob at July 3, 2005 4:47 PMWatch the grass skirt around that fire pit.
Things could get a little hot around the, uh...er...collar.
Posted by: jmflynny at July 3, 2005 10:10 PMYep, jmflynny, nothin like velocinuts roasting on an open fire.
Posted by: Cythen at July 4, 2005 4:25 AMI was worried as I read your list...
"...my brilliant parenting abilities, my prodigious lovemaking skills..."
But then I noticed you covered all of your bases...
"...and the blessed fact I do not possess webbed feet."
You know, cuz' I thank Jesus every night for not giving me webbed feet.
Posted by: Dana at July 4, 2005 9:20 AMYou need a dose of humility. Let's go shooting again.
Posted by: Acidman at July 4, 2005 9:48 AMSo where are the pictures of Velociman in a grass skirt and coconut bra? You do realize that would complete my weekend.
Posted by: sadie at July 4, 2005 12:07 PMHey! Humility is my middle name. Aintgotno is my first.
Posted by: Velociman at July 4, 2005 3:35 PMThe husband has webbed feet... No shit. Maybe I should post a pic. ;)
Posted by: Key at July 12, 2005 5:40 PM