Velociworld

RULES OF THE ROAD

Northeast Florida is pretty conservative. Bible Belt, and all. Oh, we have our upsides. Opening the liquor stores on Sundays, that sort of thing to stay in the tourism game, but by and large pretty straight. And St Johns County is probably as tightassed as anywhere, but things are low key here, somebody steal a couple of potatoes from a farm in Spuds, or something.

Not crazy on the drinking and driving around here, though. And so, if you are going to drink and drive, and you are going to have a head on collision as a result of aforesaid activity, who is the last person in the county you want to head-on?

The Sheriff, dumbass. And you hospitalized him? Great. You now have a rabid band of deputy sheriffs who have placed the equivalent of the bounty on Zharqawi on your head. Iffen you ever heal up and get discharged. They have hospital access, you know.

Bad move. I met the Sheriff when he was campaigning last summer. Great guy. Stopped by the house, we chewed the fat for 45 minutes or so, I greased him a contribution. The incumbent wasn't running again, and this guy had a great resume.

Of course, we talked like many people in southern or rural areas talk. You make eye contact when you address each other, then you look down, at the ground, and spit in the grass, and rub it absent-mindedly with the toe of your shoe. As if to say, I enjoy your company, but not that much. I ain't gay, trucklehead! Talk, spit, rub. Had many a conversation doing that.

Anyway, never head-on the Sheriff. You will be persecuted until Hell freezes over. You're fucked for life, basically.