June 10, 2005

SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR

Every woman I know professes to hate Russell Crowe, and yet he gets laid like a fucking madman. And not that he and I mingle in the same circles, but I smell a bit of hypocrisy here.

I never trust a woman who professes to hate the Bad Boy. You can almost sniff his dick on her lips. If you care to get that close.

Morale? Be the Bad Boy, of course.

Posted by Velociman at June 10, 2005 11:20 PM
Comments

Shhh. Don't broadcast that shit, vman, you're revealing the secret code.

Posted by: og at June 10, 2005 11:43 PM

Secret? Don't make me smell your breathe, Og.

Posted by: Velociman at June 10, 2005 11:45 PM

Huh? Who hates Russell? Not this minx, especially not now that I can envision him as Jack Aubrey. Rowr. I'd hit that, I sho nuff would, over and over and over again, Pete be damned. Hey - as long as we're being truthful...

Posted by: Kelley at June 11, 2005 12:24 AM

Then you're a true 'un, Kelley. No flies on you, as they say.

Posted by: Velociman at June 11, 2005 12:29 AM

The secret of attracting hot women by acting like a bastard, you fool! How else do you think a fat ugly SOB like me ever got laid? Sheesh.

Posted by: og at June 11, 2005 7:40 AM

I DO NOT find Russell Crowe attractive.

Bad boy or not, he always looks to be in desperate need of a bath.

Posted by: jmflynny at June 11, 2005 10:26 AM

My personal rut towards Russell Crowe has nothing to do with his off-screen personality, and everything to do with a) his looks, b) his body, and c) that accent. Is he a bad boy? Is it the lack of a bath that makes him a bad boy? Or the fact that he runs his mouth?

That's why they make duct tape, dude.

I feel certain that, no matter how "bad" ol' RC is, if we held a contest for badness, and I was competing, I would win it...I mean, come on. V-Man, you know my history...

He's hot, yes; I'd hit it, yes - but he ain't all that. I can think of more tempting prey.

Posted by: Kelley at June 11, 2005 10:49 AM

Duct tape would chafe on your potty-parts, and interfere with the proper use of his tongue.

Posted by: Bane at June 11, 2005 12:16 PM

Whew. I'm glad I surfed over here from Foreign Policy Review. Things were getting a bit dry, as they say. Russell Crowe was great in L.A. Confidential, by the way. I thought Ed Harris was better in A Beautiful Mind.

Posted by: rankin rob at June 11, 2005 12:20 PM

I'd fuck him. Once or twice, before I relapsed into my usual state of resentful frigidity. But I will agree - he's not exactly the kind of boy you'd bring home to mother, now, is he?

Posted by: Queenie at June 11, 2005 3:34 PM

What I want to know is, how do you know what a dick smells like?

Posted by: Dash at June 12, 2005 12:04 AM

I'd be more inclinded to bathe and shave the poor man and pass him off to another woman. Not my type...bad boy or not.

Just because he's bad doesn't mean that he is DO-ABLE.

Posted by: Dana at June 12, 2005 2:52 AM

I tried to leave this comment over at jmflynny's blog, but I do not register:

Funny, how it appears to work the opposite for men. You couldn't pay me enough to clamber aboard any of those Hollywood hags. Well, it'd have to be a heck of a lot...in the millions, with plenty of Viagra and whiskey. Babs managed to hook herself a senior citizen, but I'll bet even then that Mr Striesand has regular hypnotherapy sessions to erase the memory of having to see that haggis naked.

Posted by: Bane at June 12, 2005 5:39 PM

Bane...no registration required...just a name and email.

Posted by: jmflynny at June 12, 2005 5:50 PM

Hmmmm, I was defeated by your superior technology somehow. Then I saw the 'Login' option. Forgive my conclusion jumping.

Posted by: Bane at June 12, 2005 7:28 PM

Um, Dash, because I own one that reaches to my nose?

Posted by: Velociman at June 12, 2005 9:29 PM

Shit, I'd never leave the house.

Posted by: Bane at June 12, 2005 10:38 PM

Russell Crowe is my fucking hero.
Run, don't walk, to see "cinderella Man".

Posted by: jack straw at June 12, 2005 10:42 PM

Russell Crowe is one of my fellow NZers, and he used to be a very quiet, reserved sorta guy. That all changed when he became famous.

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