Velociworld

ROOTS NIGHT

The Bride and Velocidaughter One are highlighting each others' roots tonight, after discussing said procedure for two hours before actually doing it. The Daughter to raise her natural honey blonde to a more Malibu Beach Barbie ideal, The Bride to address a whole host of color issues I will not detail for fear of an ass beating.

Roots, roots, roots. There are so many roots in this house I've taken to calling the two of them Kunta Kinte and Chicken George.

Not that they listen to me. I am the white noise in the Velocihovel. Whether I am complimenting, cajoling, hectoring, insulting, or praising I am the static in need of a filter, the odd buzzing they can never quite put their finger on.

I am in disrepute, apparently because I was supposed to pull up a rocking chair and observe these goings-on while gently flattering them. My observations were considered something less than flattery, however, and I have been banished.

Bre'r Rabbit. Right back in the brier patch.