June 4, 2005
A LITTLE LOTHARIO
My nephew is 5 years old. He recently developed a crush on the 19 year old girl across the street. When he heard they were going to visit, he hastily stripped off his play shorts, and donned what he perceived to be his pimpest threads: khaki pants, white button down shirt, necktie, and vest; the attire he'd worn to a wedding several weeks before.
Courtin' clothes.
He cannot be dissuaded from his conviction that she will wait for him to grow up.
Man, I loves me a ladies' man.
.. you never know, man.. she might wait.. never underestimate the smoothness and allure of the khakis...
Posted by: Eric at June 4, 2005 4:44 PMShe might not wait, but with any luck she'll have come around again by the time he's old enough. Hell, when she's forty, he'll be in prime time...
Sounds like Spiderman. Though he tends to stick with his own age group, he's hell on a mother's heart. He strips my garden bare of flowers every morning, and puts a little nosegay in each girl in his class's cubby, day after day. I'm telling you, they LOVE him...
Posted by: Kelley at June 4, 2005 5:05 PMA true Catdaddy.....gotta love it!
Posted by: Yabu at June 4, 2005 5:34 PMSounds like it's time to teach that young fella how to make a proper martini.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at June 4, 2005 10:40 PMV-man, send him to me, I will have him fucking bye the time he gets 6, Cat
Posted by: catfish at June 4, 2005 10:54 PMAt nine or ten I KNEW my babysitter was going to be my wife. The Shaun Cassidy LPs she brought over, the forbidden Marlboros hanging from her pouty lower lip, those sexy/funky bell bottoms.... pure pre-pubescent poundage material.
Alas, she chose the ride of the elegant Brown Horse over me.
Being friends of the family, my young arse was hauled to her heroin-hastened departure ceremony.
But I'll be damned if I still dont use her as my "settling" vision when I am about to bust a solitary nut. You know, the last virtual image you see before the moment of completion.
Heroin chic lives on... if only in my diseased noodle.
Posted by: rightisright at June 5, 2005 12:51 AMIf she ever decides to become a schoolteacher your nephew may just be in luck. The upside is that he'd only have to wait another 6 or 7 years because, ya know, anything less would just be sick.
Posted by: Scott at June 5, 2005 12:40 PMA veritable neophyte cocksman. Gotta love it.
Posted by: Dash at June 5, 2005 10:19 PMMy daughter has a 7yr old who brings her flowers and he told me he's gonna marry her one day. My daughter is in Jr. High so she ain't exactly interested in him yet but he's too precious when he's around her....
Posted by: Sandy at June 6, 2005 7:09 AM$5 bucks says he taps that before he's 16.
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