Velociworld

THE FEAST OF ZEUS

When I was in college my buddies and I would have the Feast of Zeus once a month, or so. The Feast was prepared by scouring the dorm, the dayrooms, any empty room, and stealing whatever food we could lay our hands upon. Then we would pile it all on a table in our own dayroom in a vile mess, make Jovian toasts, and feast.

The food was certainly eclectic. Half eaten pizzas, leftover sub sandwiches, jars of peanuts, potato chips. Occasionally one would score a bucket of fried chicken or other delicacy, foolishly left unguarded upon a desk for a piss run, but as I recall it was usually pretty nasty stuff. Leftover spaghetti from a refrigerator, scummy on top, moldy loaves of bread, butter and jelly, an old dried up pork chop. There were no floors on what one brought to the Feast.

You had to have a cast iron belly to eat some of that shit, and food poisoning was not uncommon, but as long as there was alcohol it was all good. We used to steal quarts of milk from the wardroom kitchen, too, as the Jovian toasts consisted of milk chugging. That's how I learned I had developed lactose intolerance. I thought those screaming shits were food poisoning, perhaps from a half cooked piece of barnyard pimp, but twarn't so.

Come to think of it, the Feast of Zeus was pretty disgusting.