May 16, 2005
BLOODSPORT
I apparently stubbed my toe last night outside, not so's it hurt, but enough to abrase the skin. It was dark out there, I didn't notice anything.
This morning, however, when I went out back for a cup of coffee and the newspaper, there was blood everywhere. It looked like someone had been quartering hogs. I still didn't realize it was me, and figured either something had killed one of the cats, or the cats had found an impossibly huge rat, and shredded it.
I scratched my head, and went inside. During my shower I realized I'd scraped my piggie, but it was only the size of a pinhead. And yet I bled out like an Ebola case.
Forgot to tell The Bride, so I received an hysterical phone call at 8:10, wondering who'd killed the cats. You cannot believe how much blood was out there.
I had to clean that shit up tonight. Now I know what women go through.
Can the buzzards be far behind?
Posted by: Jim - PRS at May 16, 2005 9:37 PMBleeding out... hmmmm... must be the high blood alcohol level.
Torchpraise, get out the plasters; Swineherd wants to play Barber of Seville.
Yoo hoo... buzzard boy...
Posted by: torchpraise at May 16, 2005 10:13 PMOh no you DIDn't.... Nevermind.
(Lay off the layering of Goose and aspirin.)
Posted by: Key at May 16, 2005 10:16 PMOKAY!!! My blood was thinned. I admit it.
Posted by: Velociman at May 16, 2005 10:29 PMDear Velociphiliac, until you've lapped at coumadin like blotter acid and did pantyless cartwheels all over the patio during YOUR time of the month, I dare say you do NOT know how we feel.
Posted by: Anna at May 17, 2005 2:11 AMI choose not to envisage the "pantyless cartwheels".
I shall, instead, dine on the carcase of a week dead rat, and be thankful that I have been spared.
Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant at May 17, 2005 10:52 AMSo much for the empathetic Velociman. Remind me not to give a shit anymore.
Posted by: Velociman at May 17, 2005 12:04 PMI gave at the office.
Posted by: Bane at May 17, 2005 12:49 PMI hear that if you let a dog lick it, it heals faster.
Posted by: Bane at May 17, 2005 6:13 PMWell...I dunno what most women do, but I, for one...certainly do not allow myself to bleed everywhere. I practice the art of "cotton corking" which works quite well. Of course, toes are hard to cork.
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