May 14, 2005
THE OMNIPOTENT FEAST
Vultures have been circling the Velocihovel all day. And I don't mean metaphorically. I mean real live turkey buzzards. Something is dead around here.
I've tried to locate the deceased, perhaps send a card. Can't find it. This is disconcerting shit.
Are vultures harbingers of something? I dunno. I just know I am used to osprey, and these filthy scavengers have me all a fucking twitter. They are, after all, circling not my neighborhood, but my house. As I said, fucking disconcerting. I even climbed upon the roof, had a look see. Nothing there.
Do souls have a shelf life? I never considered it, but I'll be damned if I know what these bastards are after. I'm thinking me, but what do I know?
Don't sweat it. I drive past an entire family of turkey buzzards nearly every day on my way to work. So far, I'm still alive and kicking (she said, knocking on wood).
Posted by: Kathleen at May 14, 2005 8:07 PMMy Dad nearly hit one that was in the road, once. Damn thing puked on his car, and the puke boiled the paint off one fender quicker than Naval Jelly. Right down to bright steel.
In your case, I'm thinking regular bathing might help, or flush the toilet ever so often.
Posted by: Bane at May 14, 2005 8:47 PM...sorry, that was crude, but they do hunt by scent, you know.
Posted by: Bane at May 14, 2005 9:53 PMUgh...they are some seriously ugly creatures.
Posted by: Moogie at May 15, 2005 10:59 AMNothing worse than buzzard puke. Makes skunk smell like Chanel No.5.
Posted by: Velociman at May 15, 2005 2:46 PMMight be a gas leak nearby! The rotten meat smell they put in the stuff attracts them. Also, gamewardens well charge if you pop them. $2500 here in VA. "But nobody gives enough of a shit to do it." : )
I only see buzzards when the not so white people in my neighborhood forget to bathe. Look for the nearest barrio and torch it. :-)
Posted by: assrot at May 16, 2005 9:35 AMI have shot buzzards while they are way up high, riding the thermals. They can take a lot of punishment, but eventually, they die. The 3 I can remember doing this to, their heads just dropped forward and dangled down, but their wings stayed locked in place, and they continued to drift around and around...
Posted by: Bane at May 16, 2005 12:02 PMJust a thought:
You see tons of birds everyday, right? Singin' or sqwawkin', whatever......
They all gotta die sometime, but...
WHERE?
How many deceased parrots adorn your front yard? Even maybe one in a trance, feigning death? Thought so...
And sparrows?
Hundreds per summer. Who said grace over them and dug the holes? Someone had to have, cuz I ain't seen a dead sparrow in years. There's not enough cats around here to have eaten them either.
Personally, I blame Michael "The Vacuum Cleaner" Moore.
Ready for this one?
A friend has just informed me that our domesticated turkey and chickens are in the family of the turkey buzzard. Supposedly, she has research to prove it, but I do not know if I care to see it.
Has anyone heard of such?
BTW Horrabin, your point is well-taken. Sometimes a thing is hidden in plain view!
All the best.....
Posted by: Ruth at August 21, 2005 2:12 PM