May 1, 2005
I NEED A VACATION
Well, actually, I don't. But I've been informed I certainly need to spring for one, so it is much the same thing, non?
As the Velocidaughters have been hammering me for surfing lessons I suppose I can converge the harmony and make it a surfing vacation. Of course, I haven't touched a surfboard since Don Henley was fucking 12 year old girls, but I'm game.
I'll need to pick a venue. Possibly Cocoa Beach, for several reasons. It's ratshack enough for my tastes, the surf schools there are good, the waves consistent and moderate for the beginner, and there aren't a lot of expensive theme distractions nearby should the kids' minds wander. If they want surfing, they're going to get it. And that's all they're going to get. Except for the kool g I'll drop in Ron-Jon's, no doubt. Oh, and I can wander Kennedy Space Center with a hip flask, and purchase the odd Gemini commemorative pin while looking at that Saturn V rocket on display and think, that is a pocket rocket worthy of a god.
The greatest downside to this, of course, is the fact that my 12 and 17 year old daughters would actually be taking surf lessons, from some cheesy stoner who will undoubtedly look just like Don Henley. I'll have to remind him of the precise nature of the term GROUP lesson, should his dope-addled brain attempt to get outside of my groove.
I'll need my water proof hip flask and my diving knife if I'm going to pull this off.
Skip the diving knife, go right for the Spyderco Civillian. Fillet your catch right there in the water. No other tool like it, no other purpose for it, and the chosen weapon of Hannibal Lecter.
Sometimes just the PRESENCE of a civillian is sufficient for a stoner surf instructor to fly right.
Posted by: og at May 1, 2005 10:32 PMHannibal used a Harpy.
Posted by: Bane at May 1, 2005 11:07 PMHenley used coke.........
Posted by: bitterman at May 1, 2005 11:35 PMCan you take some pix of your eldest daughter surfing?
I need them for a project I am working on.
OK, I was like, um, kidding. Don't kill me,please
Posted by: rightisright at May 1, 2005 11:48 PM... make sure you take the whip as well... that and a good knife'll definitely scuttle a cheesy stoner...
Posted by: Eric at May 2, 2005 8:23 AMHannibal used a harpy to kill Roger “Gnocco” LeDuc in italy. The Civillian was not available in Italy at that time. As soon as he returned to the United States, he purchased a Civillian.
Posted by: og at May 2, 2005 9:33 AMNice pick, V-man. Don't miss Bunky's Oyster bar on A1A, or the "Space Lounge" at the Cocoa Beach Day's Inn...rumor has it that Shepard and Cooper scored most of their "cookies" there.
Those were the days. I once bought an '89 Camaro at Jim Rathmann Chevrolet, and lived in Sugar Mill Apartments off of Babcock Street in Melbourne, barely working for SAIC in the First Union building.
Posted by: Donnie at May 2, 2005 11:45 AMIf you're as decripit as I am, a few hours of surfing will put you out of commission for a week. Give the girls advice and keep an eye on the surfing instructor.
But stay out of the water yourself.
Posted by: Acidman at May 2, 2005 12:42 PMHmmm, I had not seen the Civilian. Appears to be the twin of the Harpy. I carry the serrated Police model, because I like to be able to stab through a vest if I have to, plus I fear that hooked beak is a little weak when it comes to striking bone. I have already broken one tip off a Police model. But, the Civilian is a very nice knife, nevertheless.
Posted by: Bane at May 2, 2005 3:35 PM.. Bane?.. Og?... were we separated at birth?.. I feel some kind of brotherly connection going on..... anyway, I carry the Cold Steel... it does bones nicely... just ask Velociman...
Posted by: Eric at May 2, 2005 7:49 PMDon Henley fucked 12 year olds? When he was older than 14 or so himself?
I had no idea!
Or was that simply a creative way of saying you are old?
Oh yeah... what rightisright said. Pictures!
Posted by: Jay at May 2, 2005 8:42 PMI'm more of a fan of the GI Ka-Bar, myself. Still, the Civillian was designed to be an instantly lethal carry piece, and it is.
Posted by: og at May 2, 2005 9:24 PMOh, it's a beauty, it just looks too fragile to be used as my every day knife. Maybe for someone special...
Posted by: Bane at May 2, 2005 9:59 PMHa! Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting gorgeous teenage girl-chiles! Thank GOD mine are 27 & 29 now and out of my sphere of influence. Ever come home from work to find your 18-year-old & a girlfriend sharing a 6-pack in the back yard with the punks who are SUPPOSED to be putting a new roof on your house? (OK, so I'm actually glad it was just beer in the back yard, but don't tell them that!) I've got a nice thigh-holster speargun that packs quite a whallop that I could lend you for the Henley clone ... Sounds like fun -- the vacation, I mean. Enjoy -- you've ALL earned it!
Posted by: Marianne at May 3, 2005 3:34 AM"I carry the serrated Police model, because I like to be able to stab through a vest if I have to, plus I fear that hooked beak is a little weak when it comes to striking bone."
People that say things like this also seem to be the ones least likely to ever be in that situation.
Security guards run across a lot of people wearing vests or something?
Posted by: Yeah Right at July 11, 2005 2:18 AM