Velociworld

Wherein I am Fruit Fucked

I live in Fruit Cove, Florida. St Johns County. This area has been Fruit Cove since the 1850's. Right down the road is Switzerland, Florida. We are greasy spots in the road. We don't rise to the level of a post office, and so our mailing address is Jacksonville, although we don't even live in Duval County.

And so some meddlesome little man, some little cunt, comes along and decides to rename the area of 22,000 homes and hoss farms. Learned you could petition for a new post office and name. Cool, so far. But this nipple claims since you can technically use Fruit Cove or Switzerland anyway they can't be on the ballot. Options? Bartram (this is Bartram Trail, after the naturalist who explored the river), River Oaks (nice. Name it after a subdivision), River Cove (bastardization), and some other fag name.

Fuck this lame shit. I live where I live. The local polls showed the overwhelming favorite (34%) was Fruit Cove, and it ain't on the ballot! We shall fight this. The cove refers to the coves that finger in from the St Johns River, the fruit to the fact this used to be a huge orange orchard area until 5 year freezes killed off the citrus in the 1890's.

Me? I fucking live in Fruit Cove.