April 10, 2005
On Bedbugs, and In-Laws
My mother in law is crazy as a bedbug. I smoked out her bullshit game from day one, almost thirty years ago, and we have performed a queasy Kabuki dance since then. She pretends she is the be all and end all, and I allow her that fiction as I demonstrate otherwise. Very odd.
She also uses weird words. She will say "flustrated", which is a conflation of "frustrated" and "flustered", and I don't say anything. She says "horness" instead of "harness", and "spectical" instead of "susceptible". She takes the Geechee dialect and twists it into something even I cannot understand.
I haven't mentioned the guilt. Not my bag. But she can have my children crying over the guilt with a phone call. No prob. It is what she does. I jump her shit, she jumps mine. But I am sane. She is fucking insane.
My mother in law is crazy as a bedbug.
I find it helps to set them on fire. Perhaps that is why all of my in-laws are dead.
Posted by: Bane at April 11, 2005 2:17 AMI work on the 38th floor. My mother-in-law lives across the street on the 14th floor. If the window would open I could drop a brick on her. Is that so wrong?
Posted by: Sluggo at April 11, 2005 11:16 AMBe thankful that she is only your in-law and not your mother.
My mother is just like your mother-in-law, and I respond in the same manner you do...
Needless to say, my mother and I have a love-hate relationship, given that we are biologically tied.
Posted by: Dana at April 11, 2005 1:13 PMok and i thought i was bad for sneaking a killing game when my mom was at the post office
Posted by: spark-plug girl at April 11, 2005 4:43 PMJust slap the shit out of her and be done with it. It works!!!!
Posted by: Sam at April 11, 2005 5:30 PMI'm twice a mother-in-law, if I knew I could cause that kind of angst with my daugher-in-law or son-in-law I would be thrilled. Just the thought makes me smile. I tell you I live for the few moments that I know I have delivered something that might wake them up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Just leaving them dazed and confused is what I go for normally.
It's the best, just the best.
It is what makes life worth living. LOL
Posted by: BeeBee at April 11, 2005 8:04 PM"I love them monster trucks." The father-in-law is sane, right?
Posted by: Belinda at April 11, 2005 8:09 PMI think our MIL's are connected through some crack in the space-time continuum. Those malaprops are classic...and all too familiar.
Posted by: Elisson at April 11, 2005 11:13 PMwe can always defang them snakes.
Posted by: lala at June 24, 2005 12:14 PM