Velociworld

On Being a Buffoon

Have you ever dressed up as an animal? I mean a full costume. Mascot. Chicken on the street corner. Promotional gig. Funny how, even though you have complete anonymity in a rig like that, you're still embarrassed as hell, and flush crimson if you see someone you know. Sort of like having an anonymous blog, and still being embarrassed posting about that terrible mistake in the bathhouse, with the ecstasy. I suppose.

I did a stint as Barney at my daughter's kindergarten carnival many years ago. Even in that purple getup I was embarrassed. I eased the tension by saying things to the children as they visited me:

"Barney thinks your mom's a fricking hottie."

"Mommie can prevent dinosaur extinction if she sits in my lap."

That sort of thing. Still, whereas any other anonymous costume allows one to be far more outlandish and outrageous, and act the fool, a ridiculous beastie outfit just kind of puts a damper on the freedom of the incognito. Or so I've found.