March 16, 2005
Uh, Fore!
Next week is The Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra Beach. The "fifth major". A great tournament in that the field is comprised of the top money winners from the previous season. The best golfers in the world, in other words. Also the biggest purse on the tour. No amateurs, no old 92-year-old codgers with lifetime exemptions, just the best golf of the year.
The Players Championship will never have the cachet of The Masters, or British Open, of course. History. Tradition. Amen Corner. Bobby Jones. St. Andrews. Royal Troon. Etcetera, etcetera.
I would submit, however, that TPC is a better tournament than the PGA Championship, and rivals the U.S. Open. The Stadium Course at Sawgrass was made for nut-wrenching golf at its best, and is the ultimate spectator-friendly course in the world. The island hole at 17 alone quivers the soul.
At any rate, I'll be there. I smell a mini-meet, too, should anyone be visiting Where The Wild Hairs Grow.
Ahh the infamous 17th. Tee off from the nuts, travel down the woefully undersized shaft, enter the grotesquely bulbous head with hopes of putting your small seed in the ever elusive hole.
God, I love golf.
My brother George lives there. He has been down there for years and he doesn't play golf. He is retired as a state mamager for Lance Inc, cookies and chips. He owns a limo service now and Ruth, her wife of 50 years , sells houses and has her own tax company. I have only been there once in my life and will not go back. Pretty place, but my brother sucks, he only saw mama one time in 3 years, before she died and he came to Savannah every month to see Ruth's mama. He hated our Mama. Fuck George.
Posted by: Catfish at March 17, 2005 12:39 AMNut wrenching golf? May have to ponder that one a bit. We are talking about the sport where the guys dressed in pork pies, plaid knickers, and wingtips walk around smacking a little white ball, right?
I thought maybe the PGA had added claymore ambushes along the fairways, triton wielding gladiators ringing every green, funnel webs in the cups, and I had missed something.
Posted by: bitterman at March 17, 2005 11:37 AMYes, it's a great tournament on a great course (it humbled my sorry ass ten years ago). I agree with a lot of your post with the exception that it rivals the US Open. If you've ever been to an Open you can sense the difference between it and any other tournament. Those guys walk around with a pinched ass and more stress than I have ever witnessed. They are tight, which says to me that this is the one they cherish above all. Add on the locations, the best classic golf courses in the country. I enjoyed the stadium course, but when I had the opportunity to play Oakmont I found that golf courses can have a entire new level. I have a goal to play a Open course every year and I've been able to play eight of them. Merion, Congressional, Oak Hill, Pinehurst #2 are all spectacular.
Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy at March 17, 2005 12:02 PMIf you don't know what "nut-wrenching golf" is, you don't play golf.
Posted by: Acidman at March 17, 2005 10:35 PMTruth.
My buddy Wayne teed off into the ladies' markers and the ball ricocheted right at my junk on a beeline. Without a thought I jumped and spread my legs just as the ball whistled between them and into a berm behind us and stuck. He laughed so hard he farted, but that's a more literal kind of nut-wrenching golf. I think I saw my nuts the next Tuesday or something.
Posted by: spongeworthy at March 18, 2005 2:15 PM