February 28, 2005
Damned Danes
Danes, like most Europeans, are crafty negotiators. Which doesn't necessarily mean they negotiate in bad faith, but they love to turn a collaborative negotiation into a competitive one as the clock strikes twelve.
After four months of intense negotiation I thought we had a deal crafted, a new contract, amenable to all parties, with my customers. Today was drop dead date, and we were prepared to walk should they not sign. Sarbanes-Oxley is my shepherd, I shall not want. So what happens? Friday, after hours, I get a call from my negotiating adversary telling me his boss, who in this case would be the Great Dane, had insisted on removing a volume commitment. Now that, piglets, is a fucking deal breaker. And they had to know that.
Here's the rasta, though: you always have to leave something on the table for the Big Cheese. In this case that would be the Big Fontina. The big dog that signs a contract has to be able to touch the deal, to make his mark, to validate his self-worth, and his worth to his board of directors. My counterpart had left nothing for the Great Dane to take out to sweeten the deal on his own behalf, so it was a matter of face. If he'd asked me I could have offered several red herrings of no value to me, huge to them, that I could have left in for the Dane to excise, and feel his manhood.
A nail-biter today. Nobody wanted to walk away from this, but no one was prepared to lose face. Finally, at 3:30 the Copenhagen crew caved. Or so they say. That fucking contract better be on my fax tomorrow, or I lose face. With all the wrong people.
By god, I loves me a deal.
You should always weave in a couple throw-aways so you have have something to concede and make the other guy look good. If you can make your adversary look good to his boss, you may, on occasion, get a surprising and pleasant concession.
Always go into a deal DEMANDING!!! to get more than you expect. Always go into a deal with a few hostages that you're willing to shoot just to prove that you're serious.
And ALWAYS save some chum to throw to the sharks. You can get your way, but you gotta give the other guy something to show for it.
Posted by: Acidman at February 28, 2005 10:14 PM
Damn...I've often said..."I should've been driving".
I hope it falls for you. You need to take the boy ahead of you out.
Posted by: Yabu at February 28, 2005 10:36 PMOh, ho, fellows. Thanks for the advice. But you are talking to the Master. You should have seen the rates I shoved up their asses. Even I'm ashamed about that. Got everything I wanted on the front end. I'm ashamed they felt the need to go deep on the chickenshit. Except for that volume commitment. They knew better than that.
Posted by: Velociman at February 28, 2005 10:55 PMHey, now, one of the sweetest and sexiest guys I knew was a big Dane from Copenhaugen,,,ummm ummm good! His negotiation skils were excellent!! *EG*
Posted by: Michele at March 1, 2005 6:27 AMWhen I was cuttin' teeth in the world of negotiating, ol' Boberoo taught me that the first thing to understand was who ultimately had the authority to execute and then figure out how many people got to touch it on the way up. On your end, their end and every which end involved. Then add em up, add some more for good measure and there's the number of giveaways you need to hold on to after the heavy lifting is done.
You see it all, the pre-negotiation mission statement for the process (crock of shit, always), the customer lawyer who wants to re-write on his paper (working by the hour no doubt), like that's ever going to happen. I get into a good one about twice a year these days. I'm going to come up with a Ray Lewis pre-game dance and shake the suckers up next time.
Posted by: Dishonerable Schoolboy at March 1, 2005 9:49 AMI purportedly do this for a living, and I can see that I'm not fit to wash all y'alls feet. A serious question: Is there a course/book that you can recommend (I hear that Karras sucks) for a superannuated neophyte, looking to get his game on?
Posted by: UncleJuJu at March 1, 2005 10:36 AMYou's guys negotiate? I just make 'em an offa' they can't refuse. Cuts through all the crap.
Right Jimbo?
Posted by: RedNeck at March 1, 2005 5:38 PM