February 27, 2005
Fortuna Spins Her Wheel
Just as we were getting over the close call of my daughter's accident, and the incredible bit of luck she had, a classmate of hers was killed in an accident a mile or so from Emmy's wreck on Wednesday. There was a bit of a joke amongst the teachers, that they looked so much alike they thought they were sisters. Mirror images, if you will.
One survives, one does not. And although I had a bitter taste of the alkaline of fear in my mouth at the crash scene, it is a droplet compared to the world of hurt this child's family will endure, for the rest of their lives.
I posted earlier today at Key's on the chasm of indifference, and random chance, and inapposite outcomes. A bit of a prequel, if you will, to this post. Because the question is beggared:
Does God flip a coin? And I reckon He does. I won't ascribe malevolent intent, of course, but the fact remains: there is a random calculus at work in the universe. Sometimes we are lucky, sometimes we are not. Rather how I feel about gambling, and cards. If I am fortunate at the gaming table I will have a similar setback elsewhere. Call it string theory, the unified field concept, I don't know. But Fortuna spins her wheel of fortune, and, like a roulette wheel, sometimes the final clack is decidedly against you.
This child will be buried in her prom dress. The viewing is tomorrow. Someone will have to prop up her parents, and console them, and guide them through their misery. Mirror images. I am a damned lucky man right now, and I don't care to see the next clack of the wheel.
V-man, what a horrible thing for any parent. No parent should ever have to bury a child. I never understood that fully until I was a mother and they laid that squalling pink thing on chest. I cried like the baby that lay upon me, and I've never fully recovered.
For what little it's worth, my truly heartfelt condolences for those parents. Any parent's loss effects us all. I have to go hug my daughter now.
Posted by: mamamontezz at February 27, 2005 8:20 PMMy God, that's horrible. I don't know how her family will cope. I don't know that anyone could cope under those awful circumstances. Damn, that's awful.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at February 27, 2005 8:47 PMGood Lord. That concept strikes fear in my heart. Not to tempt fate, but I honestly think I would have to be buried right along side either of mine.
I simply cannot imagine that kind of pain.
Posted by: Christina at February 27, 2005 8:58 PMVery very sad Kim, thank goodness your girl is fine, it is very bad for a parent to bury a child, my cousin did it 25 years ago in Atlanta, after that, Mary's other two girls started downhill, I think it was from the car wreck that killed there brother. Yes, you and Donna are very lucky, pass some of it my way, Cat.
Posted by: Catfish at February 27, 2005 9:09 PMCompletion of a life's story is pure chance, even though, in this day of modern medicine and Level One trauma centers, the odds are somewhat stacked in our favor.
It saddens me to think that there were a score of other young ones that died today, a score of misery laded parents, and a lifetime of grieving just started, and yet, the march for the rest of us never slowed; not even one hiccup.
The magnitude of it all is quite incomprehensable and depressing.
Best to you and yours.
Posted by: bitterman at February 27, 2005 9:20 PMV-man - My heart goes out to the family of your daughter's friend. I know what it's like ... I buried my son at age 27 about 10 years ago and time doesn't lessen the pain. Her family is going to need one hell of a support system. I wish ALL of you the best. Terry
Posted by: Terry Reynolds at February 27, 2005 11:04 PMLosing a child has to be one of the most traumatic things that can happen to any parent. I can't imagine what I would do if I lost one of mine. My kids were teenagers with cars, and someone came up with the bright idea that we needed a police scanner. NOT recommended!! If there were a wreck even close to where I knew they would be traveling, I was a nervous wreck until they got home!! I finally had to go to a different part of the house so I couldn't hear it.
Posted by: Michele at February 28, 2005 7:50 AMHold that kid close, Vman. Under the best of circumstances you only get to keep her a few more years.
Right behind you
og
Posted by: og at February 28, 2005 10:14 AMMy heart goes out to her family. That is the one way my heart and soul could be torn from me. For one of mine to be taken up before me. It just ain't right. Luck or not.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy Emmy "walked away", but it's damned wrong that the opposite of her outcome had to happen, to a peer, and a peer that was similar to your daughter.
I get the post, the coin toss doesn't always favor you, but still. A coin toss to determine the future, or lack thereof, for young ladies doesn't seem to me to be a decent way to go about it. It might be the way it is, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with, especially when you're on the losing side of that coin toss.
I hope her parents can keep on keepin' on. I know I'd have a hard assed time of maintainin' any semblence of normality should something like that happen to me.
I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. I've been there more times than I care to remember.
You nailed the bottom line.
Posted by: Yabu at February 28, 2005 6:26 PMMy oldest daughter had a bad wreck when she was 16, turned out ok, but man... why do we let our "children" drive at such a young mush headed age?
Never will understand it. The last two are gonna wait til at least 18, they've been told already not to expect any earlier... period.
My heart goes out to all who lose a child.
Posted by: wmprof at March 2, 2005 8:38 PMGreat work!
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