He approached, with hobbled gait (but great sense of purpose), the seven-foot granite monolith labeled Tower Mall. An ancient black man, adorned in begrimed tatters, he wore with utter indifference the raiments of the dispossessed.
Upon reaching the monolith he stood within inches of it, as if reading minuscule hieroglyphics where none existed. Then, with great dignity, and barely perceptible melancholy, he urinated upon it, and the spumescent broth trickled down the sheer granite surface, and puddled at his feet momentarily until it sought its own equilibrium, its own destiny, in the cracks of the granite paving stones.
Due to some odd sense of misplaced decorum he did not untie his ragged sweatpants for the act, but instead pissed directly through them onto the stone.
The security guards were on him in a nonce, and ushered him firmly, but not forcibly, back to the bus station. The broth continued apace downhill.
I extinguished my cigarette, and reentered the building, pondering the strange conflation of events that made these circadian events seem so innocuous.
Spumescent broth......I got'sta be remembering that one.......spumescent broth. Right on.
Posted by: bitterman at February 22, 2005 8:09 PMLooks like sombody got a new dictionary & had to try it out.
You do realise poor Redneck is gonna implode when he sees this, right?
Posted by: Light & Dark at February 22, 2005 8:22 PMI AM the fricking dictionary. Excuse me. Oxford is calling again.
Posted by: Velociman at February 22, 2005 8:31 PMQuestioning the Velocicabulary? Isn't that one of the seven sins?
Course in your youth, I think you couldn't possibly have been smokin' what you was sellin'; twas merely a tactic to give the closet, cut-throat intellectual the benefit of the curve.
Great post. Classic Velocistory.
Posted by: Key at February 22, 2005 9:46 PMStraight through the sweat pants, huh?
What would lead an individual, obviously lacking in modesty and faculty, to urinate through his pants, rather than just simply taking it out?
Posted by: jmflynny at February 22, 2005 10:06 PMI believe it was pathological laziness, flynny.
Posted by: Velociman at February 22, 2005 10:48 PMI believe he couldn't find a ladies' room.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at February 22, 2005 11:19 PM