January 17, 2005
A Conversation with my Father-in-Law
HE: Oh, you're on the computer again. Whatcha doin'?
ME: Blogging.
HE: Blobbing? Huh. Lookee there on the TV. See those monster trucks? I love them monster trucks. That's that Grave Digger fella. I love them monster trucks. I always take Billy and the boys when they come to the Civic Center. They love them monster trucks. The louder it gets the better they like it. Billy says those boys will stay up all night after seeing them monster trucks. You ever seen them? You get down there after the show, those are some pretty trucks. They had the dragracing on a little while ago. You don't mind if I watch in here, do you? You were at work and I just like to watch this stuff in here. Did you know those dragracing clutches have five clutch discs and three pressure plates and centrifugal brakes? They have five clutch discs and three pressure plates and centrifugal brakes. That's cause they need so much torque. Do you mind if I watch in here? Those discs will slip a little bit before they catch, then he just hit 325 in the quarter mile. You ever seen those monster trucks? I love them monster trucks. We should go to the qualifying rounds at Daytona. I went there last year with Billy. I'd like to take the boys this year. They sure love those monster trucks. I think they'd like those qualifying races. When I was in high school they still raced on the beach. Then when I got married the first car I had was a '55 Ford. A '55 Ford. It was a '55 Ford. I just like racing. I love them monster trucks. Those are some pretty trucks. We always go down in the pit after the race and they'll let you see them up close. There's that Grave Digger again. He fell over. Lookee there. He fell over. Whatcha say you were doing? Blobbing?
ME: Well, I was.
Nota Bene: The above was transcribed from microcassette, for the unbelievers.
You live such a fascinating life. But hey, it is material is it not?
Posted by: mudmarine at January 17, 2005 8:17 PMSubstitute "baseball" or "football" or "hockey" for any of the car words above, and it could be a conversation between my pater and I.
Posted by: david at January 17, 2005 8:26 PMI KNOW guys who build Monster Trucks. They ain't right in the head.
Posted by: Acidman at January 17, 2005 8:26 PMOn a slightly related topic, I once saw a tractor pull live (in Pennsylvania), and I think that I was the only person in the audience who: (a) didn't know what the hell was going on, and (b) was sporting all my own teeth.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at January 17, 2005 8:37 PMI believe you know my father in law, too, Rob, at least peripherally, and he ain't right in the head either. He's OCD. OCD. He's OCD. OCD. He's OCD.
Posted by: Velociman at January 17, 2005 8:37 PMJeezus, man.
Your father-in-law is my ERIC!!!
Just substitute the car shit for cow shit and there ya are.
"Whatcha say you were doing? Blobbing?"
rotflmfao...
He sounds cute as you!
Posted by: Stevie at January 17, 2005 8:56 PMYou seen them Monster Trucks? I love them monster trucks. That grave digger fella, he rocks. That big ford, it's a turd though. I like those monster trucks. I know people that crash those monster trucks. They ain't right in the head. I'd like to go to the qualifiers at Daytona. I already got Jr.'s autograph so now I just wanna drink his beer.
Aaahhh...Now that's Quality Time.
Posted by: zonker at January 17, 2005 9:52 PMMonster trucks? What be them? Hee hee!
Posted by: Bob at January 17, 2005 10:56 PMCan you copy that monologue to a file and e-mail it to me? Not that I don't trust you or anything... you know. I just wanted to hear it with the proper accents and inflections, etc, etc. Inquiring minds... you know...
Posted by: Dash at January 17, 2005 11:43 PMSorry, Dash. I've already over-recorded a mash note to Queenie on it. Besides, I ellipsed about 3/4 of it. It was a 20 minute sentence, and he talks really fast. His nickname at the phone company was Motormouth. I promise to record another for you, though. They're like sandfleas. You just swat at them, but never get rid of them.
Mine has many accreditations:
Key's Father-in-law, ADHD, OCD, PDD, ICD
Trust me, he would get on YOUR father-in-law's nerves.
Posted by: Key at January 18, 2005 2:44 PMYou mean he hasn't seen your blob?
Posted by: Rankin' Rob at January 18, 2005 4:49 PMDamn, I finally learned something today...Thanks.
Posted by: Sam at January 18, 2005 5:15 PMBeautiful! That Foghorn Leghorn goof is priceless.
Bob