I drove to Charleston for a meeting today. As it is 250-odd miles, that is certainly an overnighter. Stay at the Lodge Alley Inn, sip some martinis at Henry's so the College of Charleston girls can say I wish that old guy would leave. He gives me the creeps. Dine well. But my "boss", aware of this trip, decided he wanted me to attend a 6:30 am meeting of a committee he's on tomorrow. I'd already researched and prepared the presentation for him, now he wanted me to give the presentation as well, as he is an idiot and a coward, and was scared someone would ask him a question he couldn't answer (hint: pick a fucking question, mate! Any question. This fucknugget can't answer it). And I know, I know. What kind of nipple schedules a meeting at 6:30 of the am? Well, I'm pointing at him.
And so I had to drive back today. Now, I have this thing I do when I drive to pass the time. I calculate ETA's. Not just generally, but to the minute. So I picked the time I would cross the SC/GA state line, the time I would cross the GA/FL state line, and the time I would pull into the driveway. I crossed into Georgia at the exact minute I had calculated (I'm very good at this). I crossed into Florida one minute after I had predicted (fast food wankers in Darien crossed me up. Didn't calculate the time it would take them to spit on my food. That's my bad). I pulled into the driveway three minutes earlier than my original Chucktown prediction (no, I didn't drive around the block to make the time exact).
So, Mr. Helpful, my question: is this a sign of OCD, or anal-retentiveness, or something more sinister? I don't think it's autism, but does it rise to the level of Drizzleman, if not Rainman? Or is it, as I suspect, merely a divertissement, a way to amuse myself on a boring drive?
I anxiously await your reply.
Don't worry about it, pard, it's a man thing. All men calculate eta's as they're driving. Admit it, you do it on the plane too. Sometimes I even do it when I'm doin' the little bride.
We can't help it, so don't sweat it...
Posted by: Circa Bellum at January 11, 2005 11:03 PMNot thst you solicited my tske on this....but OCD generally shows up by thw mid-20s. Jack Nicholson movies notwithstanding...
Posted by: Sadie at January 11, 2005 11:25 PMI'm glad you asked this question, sir, as it allows me to get something off my chest that's been weighing heavy on my mind for quite some time.
To answer your question, a train leaving Chicago at 5pm, heading west at 62.7 miles per hour, does NOT normally provide meal service whereas a train leaving Butte, Montana, on the same track at the same time at the same speed moving in the opposite direction will usually at least have some microwaveable hamburgers on board in case you get hungry.
I've always wanted to say that and you, my friend, gave the me the opportunity I sought.
I am forever in your debt...
Posted by: mr. helpful at January 11, 2005 11:52 PMWhen did Sadie develop a hair lip?
I'm always watchin' time 'cept when I'm sleepin'. It tends to get away from me then, as it is now.
I'm sleepy, but not sleepin' ... yet.
Actual minutes are silly. Not worth the mental gymnastics, to my way of thinking. A woman might enter the thoroughfare or a trucker might try to make his logbook approach reality, and either of those examples (out of many) could throw everything off. Me, I use the 10-minute window. And the brown bag, to not care.
Posted by: Scott Chaffin at January 12, 2005 1:14 AMAsperger's, man, asperger's. You rock. Don't you?
Posted by: Justthisguy at January 12, 2005 4:59 AMI had been told Asperger's before. Understand I don't feel compelled to do this. I just do it for fun.
Posted by: Velociman at January 12, 2005 5:20 AMI do that on long trips, too! I look at it as a way to keep my mind occupied so I don't get sleepy on the road. So apparently, it's not just a man thing. :-)
Posted by: Kathleen at January 12, 2005 5:56 AM I do the same thing, but I reverse engineer it. I start at what time I show be here and work back wards. I can get it down to the minute to traveling from Washington D.C. to Hilda S.C. (9 Hours exactly).
But I agree that the bitch at the Subway in Whilen N.C. fucks my time up. This of course is if I hit no accidents or fall into my washing of my hands 3 times before I leave the bathroom. So don’t be alarmed, be proud of your OCD.
P.S. I run Spell Check 3 times in a row every time.
Install a GPS system, you will be down to counting seconds. Since I am on this I hope you are aware of the fact that since the GPS system was brought on line, the DOD has discovered that the official maps are off by as much as 1.5 miles. That might account for your delay.
Posted by: James Old Guy at January 12, 2005 10:43 AMI always suspected that Mr. Helpful had his mind in his chest, or possibly a little lower in his anatomy. Now I know for certain.
I ALWAYS do ETAs on a road trip. It allieviates the boredom.
Posted by: Acidman at January 12, 2005 10:49 AMI do the same thing with this extra caveat--
I start with a total mileage for the trip (or leg of the trip) and estimate an average speed of 60 mph and then I subtract my actual time and consider it as time I've made up.
Uhmm, yeah, I guess it's a little OCD...
Posted by: Adam at January 12, 2005 11:04 AMYeah, it's easy using the 60 mph scale because it translates to a mile/minute - very easy to calculate. But, nowdays, that's too freakin' slow. I now use 80 mph as a standard on the Texas freeways. The cops don't usually jack with you unless you're going over 85, so on long stretches we average 85 to 90. You just have to deal with the nuts driving 60 in the fastlane.
P.S. I'm an excellent driver and Wapner comes on a 6:30.
Signed, Velociman a.k.a. Rainman
Martinis at Henry's. Refreshing I always thought the COC girls were over-rated. Half of them are too crunchy and hate The Corps and the other half....well, chances are you weren't going to be the first guy on station if you know what I mean.
I'd calculate every trip to the minute from Rockville, MD to Chucktown. I'd use an 80 mph average for calculations.
Best time of 7 hours 42 minutes door-to-door. 548.5 miles +/- .5
Posted by: Bob at January 12, 2005 12:37 PMPerfectly normal lad. Especially helpful when you've also have a defined period of "drinking time" upon arrival. Also, it proves again and again to my young'uns that Dad has it all over Mom in those trivial areas of life kids think are cool. I also found it a blessing that the first time "Are we there yet?" is groaned from the backseat I can say "Zip it o'progeny o' mine, we'll be there at..."
Of course this all becomes moot when you pass that wild looking roadhouse with a tractor beam that creates another chapter of your autobiography the editors implore you to cut.
Posted by: Dishonerable Schoolboy at January 12, 2005 1:32 PMWhen walking, I estimate the amount of steps it will take to get to my destination. LOL
Posted by: Danielle at January 12, 2005 2:46 PMWith apologies to the guy who first coined the term, on alt.support.autistic, I believe that the proper diagnosis for you, sir, is
Asstitsic.
Posted by: Justthisguy at January 12, 2005 10:56 PMI just floor it and fuck it. I always arrive.
Posted by: Sam at January 12, 2005 11:50 PMIf I'd'a known you was comin', I'd'a baked you a pie.
Posted by: kc at January 13, 2005 10:42 PM