January 10, 2005
Really Bad Pick Up Lines
I have found, in my single days of course, that the expression
"Hey, baby! How'd you like to suck the snotty end of my fuckstick?"
gets you absolutely nowhere. Unless you are in a tranny bar. At which point you will get totally laid.
Are you sure it wasn't the eyelet lace umbrella?
Posted by: og at January 10, 2005 8:57 PMOr, you could just say, "Hey Baby! I'm worth $2,741,964.09 and I need somebody to help me spend it."
Posted by: Dash at January 10, 2005 9:26 PMI'll bet that line worked on Anna Nicole at some point.
Posted by: jmflynny at January 10, 2005 9:43 PMMy fave: [must add slow country drawl]
"Do me a favor, if there's ever a time I can lay down my life for yours, you just let me know, okay?"
Heh. Didn't get him laid, but never having been lined to that extreme, I had to laugh.
That line never worked for me either, but when I substituted "lick" for "suck" it had a 97% success rate.
Posted by: jack straw at January 10, 2005 10:43 PMI think that was the original working title of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," but someone convinced Lennon that it wouldn't work commercially, and that he would most certainly never have a shot on the Sullivan show.
The rest is, as they say, yeah, yeah, YEAH.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at January 10, 2005 11:05 PMI'm partial to the one eyed white owl line myself.
But variety is good, so now, I've got another in stock.
As the old joke goes, "Hey baby, wanna ...." gets your face slapped. 9 times out of 10, that is...
Posted by: Chrees at January 11, 2005 3:30 PMYou're actually Don DeLillo in disguise, aren't you?
Me fayv. pick upp lyne:
"Heyy, my naym iss [Your naym]. Remeber thatt, cuz yew'll be screeming itt layter tewnyte ;-)"