December 28, 2004

MORE XANAX! LESS BOOZE!

By God, I feel rested and relaxed. Rejuvied, in fact. Nothing like a few days away from the pixelated world to get the manmeat up.

I've taken a few steps here to address some frustrating issues. I had some comment spam work done, and the results have been beyond excellent. Thanks, Paul.

I also had my Sitemeter corrected so that it catches all the site hits instead of just the mainpage hits (the Doh! Factor):


Much better. Now I can see who locates me through Roger Moore Triple Nipple web searches. Thanks, Kelley.

Content is still an issue, of course. I believe a precise, judicious recalibration of my medications will go far in correcting this, however (see post title).

As an aside I am completely flummoxed by the fact I am only the number two hit on Google for tsunami rectum. There is a sick individual out there, obviously. He should be neutralized immediately.

Speaking of tsunamis, I heard there was a big bastard somewhere. We didn't get television in lockdown, but I heard stories about Three Llankas, or something, from the radio reception from Leviticus's foil hat.

Blowflies, as well. Lots of blowflies. And an effeminate Swede. But that is redundant, eh what?

So: who's throwing the New Year's Eve Blogbash? I have some fancy new pills I'd like to share. And a story about the chafing effects of canvas straightjackets.

Posted by Velociman at December 28, 2004 10:45 PM
Comments

jesus fucking christ.

i go to your site earlier and you arent back. so i dig deep down into my reserve of creativity (what little there is left) and come up with post on my blog regarding your frigging absence and then i come back here just for shits and giggles and youre back!

man, its true...i could fuck up a baked potato...

Posted by: mr. helpful at December 29, 2004 12:03 AM

We were channeling, MH. That is superb stuff.

Posted by: Velociman at December 29, 2004 12:19 AM

There's a Gabe Kaplan joke here somewhere...

Posted by: Evilwhiteguy at December 29, 2004 1:22 AM

Damn, me too, Mr. Helpful! I gotta go update that post!

Gosh, it's good to have you back, V-god!

Posted by: Mamamontezz at December 29, 2004 2:27 AM

Oh thank you thank you THANK YOU for returning!

Posted by: Sadie at December 29, 2004 3:56 AM

MORE XANAX! LESS BOOZE!

weks fer mee. heh.

Glad your back and feeling so good.

Posted by: BeeBee at December 29, 2004 6:06 AM

... I TOLD you about that sitemeter deal..

... glad you're back, bud...

Posted by: Eric at December 29, 2004 6:52 AM

...'bout f*ckin' time...

Posted by: david at December 29, 2004 7:58 AM

Yes, you did, Eric. But everyone told me not to believe anything you said.

Posted by: Velociman at December 29, 2004 8:01 AM

I was beginning to lose faith in the system of the blogging world, but now I see all has been restored! Thank gawd for xanax and prozac!

Posted by: Michele at December 29, 2004 8:02 AM

And, I thought the whole key to this bloggin' thing was designer steroids & beer. Glad you're back. I'm plannin' on puttin' the lawn chair in the bed of the pickup with the dogs, openin' the splitter, crankin' up the radio and watchin' water freeze on new years if you feel like stoppin' by.

Posted by: RedNeck at December 29, 2004 8:45 AM

Very well, the pout post stays in draft mode. THIS time. Next time you run away from home, I won't be as understanding.

Posted by: Key at December 29, 2004 10:21 AM

What? You were gone? I didn't notice.

Posted by: Acidman at December 30, 2004 10:35 AM

Waitaminute: Site Meter might not be catching ALL of my page hits? Get the hell out of town! What do I need to do to check this out?

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You might've been slightly blog-absent, but you were always in my dreams. :)
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