December 21, 2004
Trust Me Not
I've done some pernicious things in my time: chipping in on a buddy's girlfriend's abortion like it was a freaking poker ante, consorting with prostitutes in Lisbon, breaking into my English teacher's house to steal his Christmas turkey and liquor, "purchasing" my gasoline with an Arkansas credit card siphon hose, pursuing the blown eye even though I knew No! meant Maybe! Or even Yes! For another 150 escudos, of course.
But I was a teenager then, rambunctious and devoid of a moral compass. I am wiser now, and eschew those baser compulsions. Or so I thought. I just dropped a shitbomb on Mr. Helpful the size of a propane tank with Chapter 5. A shitbomb with a mile of string fused with the corn, that will take some very special unraveling.
I feel bad about it now. I really do. But like that blown eye, it just seemed like the thing to do at the time.
I told you I needed an ass-beating.
Who would the 52 percent that don't like him have W replace him with. Kucinich? Riiight. I'm with you on this on Vman. I think Rummy is like Dirty Harry incarnate in the Pentagon and when I think about what that means to asshats around the world, I'll admit it, I get a funny feelin' in my britches. On the front side, not the back. Unlike those that screw with us/him/USA. They ususally get a funny feelin in there britches, but it's usually in the back, kinda like they just dropped chocolate back there.
Uh, Vman, a little help here... would you be so kind as to move the comment above to the "right" post, and kill this one. It's not that I don't want people to know I'm capabale of such "atrocities", but I'd like the comment to be in the right place.
No, no, let's leave it here.
Posted by: Velociman at December 21, 2004 6:56 PMShit-bomb, huh?
How about an atomic shit-bomb?
I thought you guys were friends, too. "Were" being the operative term.
;-)
Have no fear, I have faith in the man. He's very creative. If he punts on the chapter, perhaps, you might start watching your back.
(just kidding!)
Posted by: Christina at December 21, 2004 7:25 PMIt is a testament to my faith in Mr. Helpful that I left him this conundrum. If anyone can unravel the string from the shitball it be he.
Posted by: Velociman at December 21, 2004 7:33 PMI'd hate to interrupt a good guilt trip, but I must admit something. Aside from Christina's, this is the ONLY chapter that I wouldn't mind following, were I in charge of a chapter.
Posted by: Key at December 21, 2004 8:28 PMBite me, Key.
Posted by: Acidman at December 21, 2004 8:37 PMOh, thank God, I have a friend and her name is KEY!
(With that, be prepared, I may come knocking at your door, too.)
;-)
Posted by: Christina at December 21, 2004 9:04 PMNo offense, Acidhead.
Posted by: Key at December 21, 2004 9:05 PMToday's weather should be in the low to to mid 20's, with a front moving in from the north. Look for a mix of rain and snow tomorrow and Thursday, possibly changing from rain to snow, and buy Christmas, you might expect 4-6 inches of snow, or of if you've been a real good girl this year, maybe 6-8 inches of salami.
Still wanna leave it here Vman?
I have a dirty secret to share: I love Barbara Billingsley. She must be like a hundred years old, but I'm there.
Posted by: Velociman at December 21, 2004 9:48 PMShame on you Vman, wantin' to lay the Velocipipe to The Beav's mom. She might be a mummy by now, pun intended. Doin' that to someone that's "with us" Still, well that'd make you, well you. Was she a weather girl? And when you all get round to "buy"in Christmas, let me know how much it cost ya. I wanna get a good price for it on Ebay. I figured since Vman wouldn't move my f'd up comments, that askin' to change buy Christmas to by Christmas was like pissin' up a rope.
Barbara will present her favorite SPAM Recipe, Overnight SPAM & Broccoli Cheese Strata, on the main stage of the SPAM Museum Jam Celebration at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, June 15. Following that she will be signing autographs near the SPAM Diner.
A.K.A. "The Spam Jam"
And, according to this http://www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.nsf/bnames-nf/Billingsley+Barbara She's only 81. Prime pickin's Vman. Very "Prime". Prolly a RedHatter in California.
Posted by: RedNeck at December 21, 2004 10:28 PM