November 18, 2004
Off the Cuff
I keep a set of handcuffs in my desk drawer. I wouldn't lie about this. They are, I confess, a trick pair, with a secret quick-release, but you wouldn't know that to heft them.
I seldom pull them out, but in a tight they are an excellent negotiating artifice. Slap them on the desk in the midst of an impasse and you generally get a concession.
I once clasped them on the Warrior Princess on a dare, behind her back, in front of god and country, without her knowledge of the quick-release, and she had shed them in 3.5 seconds. Not your ideal date, fellows. More like your ultimate date, as I believe had she chosen I would have been Cinch-Sacked in those cuffs in another 3.5 seconds, had she not taken pity on me.
And the lads are whimpering. I may call in sick tomorrow. I am doomed.
Hey, buddy, don't pretend that you won't get *some* perverse thrill out of it.
Posted by: david at November 18, 2004 8:48 PMMine can't pass for the real deal.
(It must be the fur lining.)
Posted by: Key at November 18, 2004 9:01 PMDuct tape my brotha, duct tape. There's hardly a quick release on that except for maybe a buck knife. Drop that on the table next time. If you don't like what they're sayin', you can tape their mouth shut. If you do like what they're saying, well, the possibilities are endless.
Duct tape and coat hangars make excellent binding tools when used in conjunction.
Posted by: jack straw at November 18, 2004 10:21 PMYOU.
Yes. ALL of you...worry me, deeply.
Posted by: jmflynny at November 18, 2004 11:21 PMPlease explain that sentiment to me AFTER you've cuffed me. I have rules. Almost as intense as yours, I believe.
Posted by: Velociman at November 18, 2004 11:27 PMI prefer the thick leather restraints, personally. No quick escape from those.
Posted by: Mamamontezz at November 18, 2004 11:46 PM::: scribbles :::
Pay NO attention to me. I'm just taking notes. Hubby's got a birthday coming up.
Posted by: Margi at November 19, 2004 4:37 AM