October 27, 2004
Let Me Get This Off My Chest
The Man Mining his Nostril
c/o the Green Explorer
Southbound I-95
Jacksonville, Florida
Sir:
Please be advised just because you are sitting in an automobile doesn't mean no one can see you, or what you are doing. That is a window, not a fucking cloaking device. Do you realize how disgusting your actions are? Have you no shame, sir?
The only reason I did not run you off the road is because your endeavors did not yield anything you deemed edible during our brief encounter.
Limo tint is our friend, my nauseating fellow traveler. I promise a heavy dose of road rage next time.
Best Regards,
Velociman
Ahhh...you and Kelley attract these people; she's written similar letters. ; )
Posted by: Key at October 27, 2004 7:14 PMI'd have sworn you were writing about my husband, but he doesn't drive an Explorer.
Posted by: Venomous Kate at October 27, 2004 7:53 PMEEEeewww!
Posted by: jmflynny at October 27, 2004 8:43 PMNot to mention it's so frustrating to see them digging and digging and digging. You want to run them off the road just so you can tear open the door of their car and offer them a chisel and hammer. "Please! Take them! Get that stuff out! I can't stand it!"
What, you don't carry a chisel and hammer in your car? Why not?
Posted by: Andrea Harris at October 27, 2004 10:02 PMMaybe he had an itchy frontal lobe.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at October 27, 2004 10:04 PMWell, Andrea, I have a tire iron and the butt of a .38. I can make do.
Posted by: Velociman at October 27, 2004 10:18 PMReason enough to install a bullhorn behind your radiator grille with a microphone convenient to the driver's seat:
"You - yeah, you in the Ford Explorer. Get that finger outta yer fuckin' nose!"
Just like the Wrath o' God. Priceless.
Posted by: Steve at October 29, 2004 5:28 PM