Velociworld

BONED AGAIN

I'm not even going to get into the 4 extra rooms boning I received at the Comfort Inn, because that fucking Bengali and I are still negotiating.

No, boned on the W visit this Saturday. My friend Michele gave me the down low on the tickets, because she's tight with the local oliphonts, being a wired activist, so I raced over and scored 4.

The deal was about a thousand tickets for a W stemwinder at the Landing, in an "in the round" setting with the Faithful.

Today that became a frigging 50,000 ticket event at Alltel Stadium (nee the Gator Bowl) replete with a country & western act. Doors open at 10:30, your President will arrive at 4pm.

Now, I say fuck that. I don't wait 5 and a half hours for anybody. Not to see them on the Jumbotron because they are half a mile away. Nor do I care to listen to any C&W Saturday, because my dog is already dead, my heart is already broke, and I have plenty of whisky.

I am repulsed, and I am only a Politburo member (yes: I know I said I did not give any money to the reelection campaign, and I did not. That is like taking dollar bills to Fort Knox, or smuggling spliff into Jamaica. I DO pay my Politburo dues, however. How do you think I scored this sweet dacha?).

So imagine the rage of someone like Michele, who will burn vacation days to drum up voters, poll watch on election day, canvass neighborhoods, and be a generally huge asset to the Central Committee. She's cheesed. She can hang in the nosebleed section with the back island trash and her opera glasses for 5 hours of Cornfed Husker Du. It is a fucking travesty, a betrayal of the Loyals.

I'm pissed, too. I'm voting for the Libertarian whackjob. I don't remember his name, but they're all whackjobs. Right? Just like the whackjob the local GOP dished out today.