September 24, 2004
Truck Ads
Am I the only person who gets tired of the way the Big Three (well, Big Two and the Nazis) try to out country and out redneck their audience? A pickup truck is a damned fine piece of machinery, whether you live in the country or not. Last time I looked there were quite a few urban items you need a truck to tote. Fucking bales of hay. Gimme a break. If they weren't so damned stupid they could sell even more trucks to even more urbanites if they thought outside the crewcab.
To hell with the Eddie Bauer edition. I'm waiting for one of these companies to wise up and come out (ha!) with a Queer Eye edition. I would submit the Lariat would be a good model to start with. Put some antiques in the bed. Put a giant phallus sculpture in the bed. No! A black and white entwined phalli sculpture. Or a bobo couple unloading a Fisher and Paykel at the curb of their brownstone. Damn! I really should be in the ad business.
I agree. I don't usually watch to many of the truck commercials though. Only two come to mind. The Chevy commercial where Bob Seager sings "Lika a Rock" and the... budeh budeh budeh deh HEMI Dogde Ram commercial(Yes I'm envious). Besides being able to haul shit back home from my owner Home Depot(yes dut to my honey do list I'm their endentured servant) my favorite part is the kick as cup holders. Two in the front, and two agains the flow in the back right behind the console. Excellent place to put the empties and keep the "table" in the front clear. Oh yea, you can put a cooler in the bed too!
Posted by: BryanH at September 24, 2004 8:03 PMAfter reading that last comment, and the number of words I spelled wrong, I guess I ought to grow a brain cell and figure out what the hell that preview button down there is for, or lay off the sauce.
Think I'll check out the preview button.
Just took me two previews to get this one right, unless I screwed up this last sentence.
Posted by: BryanH at September 24, 2004 8:08 PMSplit the difference. Just shape an SUV like a huge penis - the balls are hydraulically controlled - and call it like it is. Then have an LCD panel on the back that graphs fuel actual mileage against other vehicles.
Oh and chain a baby seal to the fender.
Posted by: Andy at September 25, 2004 12:32 PMDamn Andy, for us rednecks won't these do:
http://www.pickupspecialties.com/Bulls_Balls/bullsballs_trucknutz.htm
instead of having them by hydraulic, I'd prefer to have 'em free swinging and low hangin. The ones that I personally own have hydraulics, and it freaks the ol' lady out. ... "Where'd it go?"
I'm not in PETA, and don't live in close proximity to seals, but I accidentally(riiiiight) dumped my dog out of my pickup a week ago and gave him a pretty significant case of road rash on his feet.
Does that count?
Posted by: BryanH at September 25, 2004 2:24 PM