August 22, 2004
A New Diet
I love red meat. Beefsteak, hamburger, bring it on. And yet my body is starting to reject red meat. And pork (the Other Colonic Carcinogen). The digestive processes are all screwed up these days.
So I have begun a new diet: yoghurt and bee pollen. This will last about a week, but bear with me:
There are ethnics in Russia, or what used to be part of the Soviet Union, Uzbekis, or whatever, that's all they eat. Yoghurt and bee pollen. Why? Because that's all they fucking have, that's why. They harvest yoghurt from milk, and pollen from all the bees they own. These bastards live to, like, a hundred and eleven.
A hundred and eleven. I like the sound of that. So I've reached out to the local bee pimps for some pollen. They're locked and loaded on the honey scene. Pollen is byproduct to these people, so they're accommodating. I get my first round ton Wednesday.
I forgot to mention the downside of pollen scoring: you have to work in industrial sized units. Not to worry: I have an enormous vat of surplus yoghurt out back, which I figure I can swap for more bee pollen, if necessary.
Bon appetit, Intrepids. I'll let you know how healthy this diet is in, about, 20 years.