Velociworld

Cover The Earth

A corporate logo is supposed to engender something positive about the company, or product, right? So what in the hell is positive about the logo above? Nothing! When I was little there was a Sherwin-Williams store in the the neighborhood which my mother frequented regularly. When I was five years old that logo absolutely terrified me. I envisioned a twenty-mile high glacier of red paint scouring the earth. Probably already in North Carolina, heading south. What were these people thinking?!? Cover the Earth, indeed! Were they fucking crazy!?!

It didn't help matters that right across the street from the paint store was a giant 100-foot-tall globe, painted like Earth, that was a natural gas reservoir (it's still there, by the way). My father would say if that thing ever blew up it would "take out half the southside".

Now this was also the same year as the Cuban Missile Crisis, which I didn't understand other than the fact a belligerent sadist named Khruschev was growling harsh threats in Russian on the television. I didn't speak Russian, but my father patiently explained that he was promising to rain nuclear Armageddon upon us. I wondered if the fallout would look like a giant glacier of red paint.

I'll bet those Sherwin-Williams bastards were Communists. Hey, it's Red paint, right? A layer of red, covering the globe, just like that raving psychotic Khruschev was promising.

Fuck that, and fuck Sherwin-Williams. It's no wonder I'm so screwed up now. And it's nothing but Dutch Boy for me.