June 26, 2004
A Memory
When I was about 10 years old my father took me aside and showed me a grainy black and white photograph of an infant in a bassinet who possessed, through the miracle of trick photography, a twelve inch erection. "That", said my father, as serious as the judge he was, "was me as a baby".
The conversation ended there, and I'd pretty much forgotten it, but when I was 15 or 16 I was rifling through my father's bureau for something (money? switchblade? handgun? Marlboros? I have no idea) when I ran across that old photo. I poached it, took it to school the next day, and tried the same routine on my friends. I soon lost it.
For some reason, every time I see a beautiful piece of Photoshopping, I think of that picture, and wonder what could have been.