Velociworld

Time to get Serious...

Here's the next thing I'm buying:



Bugspray's Model T503 large bird trap. Very nice. I saw a blue jay in my back yard today, and that must be dealt with.

Blue jays are the Mike Tysons of the avian world: brutal, belligerent, and ignorant. Prone to savagery, they will have every other bird in the area departed for more amenable climes poste haste. Even mockingbirds, the Leon Spinkses of birddom, won't mess with a jay. My pair of cardinals have been joined this year by a pair of brown thrashers, and I'll be damned if a blue jay is going to chase them off.

After you catch a jay, you put him in a grocery bag. Then you drive about four miles away, shake that bag like a paint mixer, and let him go. You don't really have to shake the bag, but I like to do it. Blue jays suck. They deserve a good rattle up.

I'm also hoping to trap some of these accursed grackles and be rid of them, too. They're not really aggressive, and they do love the beetles, but they are nasty bastards. They are the Buster Douglasses of the bird world.