Velociworld

NOT A PUDDYHEAD STORY

But humorous, nonetheless, because I received it through Pud.

It seems Puddy had an employee with a Bad Marriage, and a Hankering. Both issues were of this fellow's own making, but I don't want to distract from the story, so I will not proselytize.

So our story boy hooked up with a certain local female cop. I won't even say what her hair color is, but I will proffer the following ditty:

I'd rather be dead, like the bump on a log

Than red on the head, like the dick on a dog.

I digress.

So our protagonist (I cannot use the sobriquet hero) is pumping away with this she-cop, her on top, when, well, let me use his words, as passed on to me by Puddyhead:

Puddy, everything's going great, she's getting off, then I feel sompin warm and wet on my stomach. I figgered she was just getting off heavy, ya know? I had that happen before, when I get a girl wet. But then she got off and I looked down, and Puddyhead, she done shit all over me!

(Cue the indignation of the Indiana Jones moment: We... Are... Going... To... Die!)

Then, apparently, she went into the bathroom and cleaned herself up, and left. No comment, no disavowal, no rationale, no excuse. Apparently she just felt like this guy deserved whatever he got. She had closed a chapter in an unholy book. And, by the by, this was apparently not a dry turd, but a gelatinous steamer, indicative of deeper issues.

This sort of thing bothers me. Don't ask me why. I guess I'm just old-fashioned.