March 5, 2004
FIVE FOR FRIDAY
I used to eschew the Friday Five, because I did a Nostalgia thing on Fridays, and it was a bit time consuming finding pictures of Monkey Division POW torture implements, and such.
However, now that I realize I have no more memories of childhood I haven't shared (at least ones I can recall, the Recollection Quadrant of my noggin having been subjected to hellish pharmaceutical experiments over the years (and a singularly Bad Move, I may add) I don't mind doing a Fiver now and then.
For your edification:
1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
Mrs. Schunamann. A hard-core white haired harpy. All business, no pleasure with her palm. Her son the barber was cripped, I'd heard from a skiing accident, but I think he was born cripped, myself. Three barbers, your chances of getting him for a flattop were 33.3%. He was an okay barber, flattops being pretty much fuckup proof, but crips on crutches freak kids out. On the positive side Saturdays were haircut day, and sometimes you could catch the mercurial Sandy Koufax or Don Drysdale pitching on the game of the week. Not a bad trade off to suffer the ministrations of an untouchable .
2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Space Ghost, man. And now that he's returned as a paunchy Adam West holograph I like him even more. Early eary? Beanie and Cecil. Existential? That Alfred Hitchcock alligator. I don't remember his name, and I'm too lazy to look it up. But he was a sick fiend, and no doubt homosexual.
3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
Andy Hooten. HE was a crip, too, with leg braces and everything. I used to footrace him. How cruel. But I was his only friend, and even a six year old jackanape like me needed to leaven his Good Works with a little bastardy. And he was a good guy. His father was a minister, and after Andy and I went our separate ways in 1966 his father became a big anti-war, Ban-The-Bomb activist. Andy was cool. His dad was a pompous asshole.
4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
Fortified Oak Flakes. The greatest cereal ever. Discontinued about 1972, and apparently banned on five continents now for making little boys too regular in their colonic functions.
5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
Beat off. Hey, don't ask if you can't handle the truth.
Posted by Velociman at March 5, 2004 7:32 PM