January 30, 2004
THE FRIDAY FIVE
Yes. I'll pimp for you. It's what I'm all about. Remember that when it's bail bond time. Shall we cut to the chase?
You have just won one million dollars:
1. Who do you call first?
My brother, Jack Straw. For legal advice. And ATT. I want an unlisted number.
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
A slave. No shit. Then I can free them, and feel good about myself.
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
I would like to buy my mother-in-law a clue, but Bono has the clues locked up in a coal bin. Next, I would buy Dick Cheney a grin.
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
Hell, yes. I'll start a think tank of conservative thought. That is, after I'm comfortably nutted up. I am a greedhead conservative, after all. I'd also like to start a think tank dedicated to erasing poverty one scumbag at a time.
5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
Oh, yes. I give it all to Terry MacAuliffe for safekeeping, numnuts.
Here's the deal: One third in real estate (nothing less than a quadruplex), one third in blue chips, and one third in a mix of 90, 120, and 240 day money markets. But that's just me.
Did I tell you I have a securities dealers license? May I churn your funds? Just asking.