January 21, 2004
IS PADDY CHAYEFSKY DEAN'S SPEECHWRITER?
I always thought Howard Beale Dean's "I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore!" routine was just schtick, his attempt to energize a naive fan base with faux rage and indignation. Then I saw that performance Monday night, when what should have been a concession speech after an ass-whupping turned into a celebration of psychotic hysteria. I'm surprised he didn't piss himself right there on stage.
Does this man have syphilis? He really is mad as the fucking hatter.
Yarrrrrrrrrrrghhh! What the hell was that? And I so wanted to see his name in lights at the Donkey Show next summer.
One more thing: when this lunatic read off his litany of states where he was going to kick some ass he hit every other candidate's state (Massachusetts! North Carolina! Missouri! Arkansas! Connecticut! New York! Ohio!)
Only I don't think he was talking about Wes Clark and Sugarbear Sharpton when he mentioned Arkansas and New York. No, he was thinking about Bill and Hillary, the two people who did the most to fuck him up the last two weeks. Of course, when you're working with that kind of material, it's a crime to pass it up.
I said watch Edwards back in the fall, and I still say that. If he comes in second in New Hampshire, he'll be on a freaking tear. Kerry will fail in the South. He ain't got no manners. Edwards won't fail. He holds doors open for little old ladies, and probably wears his Webelos badge in the courtroom.
Of course, this prognosis omits the ass-reaming Bill and Hill have in store for these two. Expect some really nasty shit on Kerry soon. Maybe a war-crime atrocity like Bob Kerrey's. For Edwards they'll find a mulatto 6-year-old in High Point the night before the South Carolina primary.