Velociworld

SHOWER OR BATHE?

I'm going to have to cut some Velocifambly ass if these women don't quit leaving their hair in the kitchen sink. I don't care if they shampoo their lovely tresses in the sink, all women do, but clean the freaking trap when you're done. I actually use that sink for cooking.

Which brings to my point. Women shampoo in the kitchen sink because they bathe instead of shower, and can't get their heads under that tub spigot. And why do they bathe instead of shower? Beats the hell out of me. You can't get pregnant from a shower stall, although at the 47th Street Y you can get some pretty funky lichen growing between your toes.

Here's my take: when I cleanse I do so because I am dirty. I might not be able to see it, but I'm dirty. So why do I want to loll around in the filth I've just taken pains to slough off my body? That's sick. I want that shit going right down the drain. When you bathe, all that dirt and dead skin cells and whatever else you're attempting to remove just float around the tub, and when you get out it's still on you, only rearranged, and plastered to you with old soap. That's why a woman's towel is nastier than a man's (unless he cut a wet fart getting out of the shower). She has to scrape off the dirty soap film with the towel. I'll bet Heidi Klum's towels are filthy, for example.

No, down the drain with that crap. And another thing: how do you put a Shower Massage to your nutsack in a bathtub? I rest my case.