Velociworld

ALRIGHT ALREADY

I've nearly twisted my own arm out of the joint. A brief deconstruction of Gator Bait:

SYNOPSIS:

When a clan of lusting backwoodsmen kill Desiree's sister and kidnap her brother, she turns pretty deadly herself in this action-packed adventure. Desiree is played by Claudia Jennings, a well-known Hollywood stuntwoman and former "Playmate of the Year."

This genre of movie has been called "Hixploitation", wherein 99% of the southerners are degenerates, reprobates, ass-rapers, and bigots. A documentary, in other words. GB is a stylized revenge flick; Desiree of course exacts vengeance on a host of hillbillies for the attempted rape and subsequent murder of her sister, one of the more rivetheaded scenes. Lots of jonboat chases through the swamps, an evil sheriff with a fucktard son, a castration!... and some gratuitous T&A. Sorry. I'm no Leonard Maltin. Perhaps I should have called this a decomposition.

Check out the poster, though, while you're here.

And tell me with a straight face this movie doesn't make you want to rent Walking Tall and lock yourself in for a weekend, drinking 'shine and role-playing Deputy Grady.

Added bonus: there are NO REVIEWS on Amazon for Gator Bait. Jesus. No wonder our kids score so poorly on standardized tests. Time for a quick rental to refresh the brain cells, and another Amazon masterpiece from Velociman.

Posted by Kim Crawford at October 28, 2003 10:36 PM