October 24, 2003

BARFLY BLOG

Remember how in Barfly whenever Mickey Rourke would get a little coin in his pocket instead of trying to better his life he'd go back to the bar and buy rounds, yelling "TO ALL MY FRIENDS!"? Well, this is kinda like that... and I'm going to start at the bottom of my alphabetic roll, because as the V-man I know you people are usually too tired to link me in your lovefests. That IS why, right?

Kevin reminds us of the next Bonfire. My problem is, all my posts suck so bad I can't find a weakest link...

I want a costume of that Mercury dude at Tony's, for those times when The Bride won't let me be Carl from Slingblade in our sexual role-playing.

Tiger has a nice slice-of-life on Seth, the man I hope to be in precisely 50 years.

Just for the record, I think I exhibited enormous restraint in not commenting on Sugarmama's sexblog. But I was thinking it, by God.

Someone please take Kelley out tonight and show her a good time. Stein? Ben Stein?

The Straight White Guy is off to Gatlinburg, and he didn't invite us. That's just wrong. Let's trash his comments while he's gone.

Oceanguy has a nice recap of Natan Sharansky's visits to American college campuses. It would be sad if it didn't boil my blood. I feel like I'm living in the Fourth Reich sometimes.

Our favorite Social-Reject has had issues with her local tag office. Never been there! She's also in Demolition Man mode, so back off.

David recounts a nitrous trip I wish I'D taken. Although I must say after the Valium drip for my wisdom teeth I got spoiled. Gas was never the same...

Single Southern Guy touches on a topic I find near and dear to me perfectly abhorrent.

Serenity explains it all. All I wanted to know, anyway.

Sama has great advice for surviving solar doom. Walter Pidgeon could have used this advice.

Rocket Jones brings us Betty Bowers. She's the kind of uptight parodic Christo-freak that turns me on.

Zombyboy is feeling the pain for his Broncos. Living in Jaguarland I'd love to commiserate, but bite me, dude! Your team will rebound. Mine is on life support. And we had Beuerlein, too, back when dirt was new!

Anna is waxing nostalgic on February-December romances... Daddy, of course, like.

Parkway Rest Stop brings us a story of, well, disgusting implications.

Jay Solo's Carnival Of the Capitalists is quickly moving him into Big Dog Territory. Good on 'im. I'd submit an entry, but I AM $32 million below plan this year. It just wouldn't seem right...

Pamibe takes the Cougar boy to the woodshed for a fisking. Well done.

Laura confesses to a taste for yeast confections. Oh, the humanity!

Fritz brings us the Monster Match. Way frigging cool, I say.

Mr. Helpful has a new episode of Bionic Dick up. No pun intended.

Margi understands what I've been thinking for a long time. There are real fonts and cute fonts. I've always considered comic sans to be what I call a bastard font. I use it in all e-mails. It drives people batshit.

Lomojunkie shares my aversion to flu shots. I haven't had one in almost 30 years, and won't, and I've NEVER had the flu in my life. I DID have the Screaming Meemie Trots this week, though. Still with me, actually. I'll never mock Depends again.

Paul Jackson introduces us to the toughest hombre I've ever heard of. The Iceman. When my blog makes me famous and I need a bodyguard, Sigurdur Petursson is my man.

You don't pick a post to link from this Whoredog. You just go read it all.

The Grouchy One is in bitchslap mode. I always enjoy his work, even if he didn't invite me to go scuba diving in Bonaire with him, the wretch.

Robert Goodwin expounds on a subject that's been bothering me, too. Katie Couric and company whoring Elizabeth Smart. All I've seen, and ever will see, was the trailer. I was disgusted to see Katie trying to match wardrobes with a 15 year old girl. Give it up, Katie. We've seen your polypy old colon.

My buddy Janis is going to a visitation, as I did last week. It's called being an adult, and doing the right thing. Make the best of your trip, girl. And glad I could help with the blinds.

Eschew has one of his patented blogfodders up. It even has a link to a Blackbird manual! He da man.

The Electric One 'splains her coffee druthers. Of course it's Kona. But I have a quarter pound of Jamaican Blue Mountain I want to send her way. Variety is the spice, they say, of life.

Geoffrey is doing the deed for Little Hearts, a noble cause indeed. Do The Right Thing and stop by and reach deep. I beseech you.

Dizzy-girl bought some Mary-Kate and Ashley lipstick. Looks great, too. Maybe I should rethink things and return the Bette Davis And Olivia DeHavilland Lipstick I bought The Bride...

Jeff at 15 October has a great post up with his future supermodel. What a stunner. All I'm gonna say, Jeff, is keep her away from Solo!

De Doc, who knows these things, punctures the Canadian medical miracle myth. Read it.

My Homie Dax has Karaoke Night tonight. Please feel his pain. And remember, Dax, we ALL have Karaoke night every day. There's always some fucktard pretending to speak real words while the Man Behind The Curtain pulls his strings. Or something like that. Pardon me. I've been at this for a while, and I'm getting punch-drunk.

I could have linked to this girl's Acidman responses, because they were actually well thought out, but this is a better post, to me. I liked it.

Phillip Coons has let his Freudian Slip show. I, for one, applaud his decision.


LeeAnn wants to know what Rocky Horror character you are. Negative. I will not take these quizzes. I know I'll end up being a cornholed Barry Bostwick. I don't need the pressure.

Stevie alternately slaps my funny bone and breaks my heart. She's the Real Deal. I like her tremendously.

Bogie's been keeping such a low profile lately, I had no idea she was a womanimal. I have an opening, girl.

McGeehee explores the Nunn of the above viewpoint. Geez, I was never a Sam Nunn fan, but has it only been ten years since the Democrats had a bona fide defense champion in the Senate? So sad...

Baldilocks, true to form, reminds us to remember our sacred 241. Just cool.

Do you people know Attaboy? Well, you should. 'Nuff said.

Say hello to Annessa. She's a local who makes me proud. Well, anyone who shares my dirty laundry problem makes me proud. Nonetheless!

Dawn has an excellent idea. Go visit Space.com. I know I do. Hey, that's my ancestors up there. It's YOU people who claim to be descended from apes. I'm the Godlike offspring of despicable genetic experimentation between aliens and baboons. And proud of it.

Allah has to be hating life. The Gotham Jews versus the Miami Jews in the World Series. Crimson Jihad is cooling their heels in the Bekkaa Valley, waiting for pitchers and catchers.

Donnie doesn't seem to grasp the fact his tax dollars are better spent on Congressional payraises than on his beer budget. He should be ashamed. Angry white male, indeed. It's for The Children, dude.

And, finally...

The Accidental Jedi. Immerse yourself. Think Calgon...

I know there are typos. I don't give a shit. I'll fix it later. Right now, I deserve a cocktail.


Posted by Kim at October 24, 2003 6:06 PM
Comments

Finally someone who apreciates the reverse alphabet. Many thanks...

Heres wishing you Jose Cuervo shots and Pacifico chasers...

Posted by: Kevin at October 24, 2003 8:53 PM

Woo...what a list! Thanks for including me. :)

Posted by: Gennie at October 24, 2003 8:56 PM

Dude, that's impressive.

Posted by: sama at October 24, 2003 11:10 PM

Wow, what a magnificent listing! Yes, I always seem to be at the bottom of most listings, so thanks for reversing the alphabet! My blogroll is not alphabetic, but is arranged by update status.

Posted by: Tiger at October 24, 2003 11:17 PM

Ah c'mon, take it like a man. :)
Barry did.

Posted by: LeeAnn at October 25, 2003 12:26 AM

I'm surprised you liked Elephants better than the Acidman questionnaire. That's okay. As long as you're still carrying my undies in your pocket, I'm happy.

Posted by: Da Goddess at October 25, 2003 12:37 AM

Hey, I'm all for driving people batshit. Exhibit "A" is my blog. Aheh.

That was one hella roundup, Kim. Thanks for including me and now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to read all of these links and then e-mail everyone in 15-point comic sans. *snort*

Posted by: margi at October 25, 2003 1:09 AM

Hey, my first time! Thank you!!! Now to start reading.... ;)

Posted by: pam at October 25, 2003 9:25 AM

I know where you can buy a slightly used Mercury body armor for cheap. Only one dent, in the head area. (Hmmmm!!!) Very impressive list. Thanks for the linkage.

Posted by: Tony S. at October 25, 2003 12:42 PM

Hmm. I feel at a loss for your not commenting on my sex post, unless it was a graphic description of your personal bedroom practices.

Posted by: sugarmama at October 25, 2003 2:16 PM

Hey!

I thought that was gonna be a picture of another drop dead gorgeous 20 15 year old super model-like daughter.

Sheesh.

Posted by: Jay Solo at October 25, 2003 4:47 PM

Oops, the STRIKE code on the 20 didn't work! There is supposed to be a line through that 20 in my above comment.

Posted by: Jay Solo at October 25, 2003 5:47 PM

Thanks!

Posted by: Juliette at October 25, 2003 9:07 PM

Thanks for the list and the link! Gatlinburg was a blast...what I can remember of it, that is..*hic*

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