Velociworld

BLOOM COUNTY? DON'T BET ON IT

Much rejoicing over Berke Breathed's return to cartooning. Better hold up, though. He's not bringing back Bloom County. He's not even bringing back Outland. He's bringing back Opus the Penguin, your left shoulder Conscience. Period. Which tells me something. He's not doing this to be Relevant, or Provide Serious Commentary. Hell, no. He's bringing back his Franchise. His Bread and Butter. His Meat and Potatoes. HIS FUCKING MERCHANDISING TOOL. That's all.

If Berke were serious about this he'd bring back a Bill the Cat cartoon. (Ack!)

Here's the way I parse it: Fast and Furious Syndication, followed by Major Money. Lots of people say Bloom County was not derivative of Doonesbury. Bullshit and smell my taint meat. Of course it was derivative. Garry Trudeau can kiss my cracker ass, but he created and perfected that genre, and has nurtured it and kept it alive for over 30 years. Everything Breathed did ripped him off.

So Breathed got Rich Quick, and Invested Heavily. Retired, and watched his money. Then, being heavily invested in tech stocks, he took a beating in the late nineties with everyone else. Now his Good Life is catching up to him, so he's resurrecting his Cash Cow. Don't get your hopes up. Most of this shit has probably been written for two years, so don't expect relevance.

Fuck Opus.