September 16, 2003
BLACK HOLE SPEAKS
and names former Congressman Gary Condit as murderer.
The Chandra X-Ray Observatory has actually heard a black hole speak.
The orbiting observatory, named for slain Congressional intern Chandra Levy, picked up the faint signals from a black hole located in Rock Creek Park in suburban Washington, D.C. The same black hole, in fact, that the intern's body was discovered in.
NASA engineers had to computer-enhance the message, which was garbled by a layer of hot air hovering over the capital, but finally released a transcript today.
Said Weems Stovall, a spokesman for the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, the message read:
"Gary did it. That cocksucker."
Just goes to show you should never mess around with a black hole.
Posted by: Laura at September 16, 2003 11:30 PMJimmy Hoffa was discovered there, too. And he's STILL ALIVE.
But Danny De Vito is dead.
Posted by: Acidman at September 17, 2003 7:46 PM