July 31, 2003
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, WITH GUITARS
Never go shopping on Ebay whilst spree drinking Ten High Bourbon.
You know what this is?
Yep. Popeye. Or, more precisely, a 1930's Popeye hand puppet. A chipped paint, filthy, and possibly urine-stained Popeye hand puppet.
I bought this on Ebay about a year ago. I was searching for some genuinely sweet Popeye paraphernalia when I ran across it. My first reaction was revulsion, followed by curiosity, followed by compulsion (hey - I got my own twelve-step program). It was like one of those Totally Terrifying Toys you see. So of course I got it, now I don't know what to do with it. The Bride won't wash it for me, and it freaks the kids. I considered mailing it to one of my siblings for Christmas with instructions to forward it to another sibling the next year. The Gift That Keeps On Giving. Like Herpes Simplex II. But I figured the first one to get it would burn it, then I'd be down a peculiar piece of Classic Americana.
Tell me: was this the worst five dollars I've ever spent, or does that telescoping French tickler I got in an Esso restroom in Smut Eye, Alabama beat it? I'm personally ambivalent on the issue.
I dunno. But, I kind of feel like you could make that into something. I'm not exactly sure what. But something.
D
Posted by: David Strain at August 1, 2003 12:04 AMWas that most wasted five dollars you've ever spent? Well it all depends on what the hell does a telescoping French tickler do exactly.
And, God, haven't you ever wondered exactly who's urine that is on Popeye???
BTW, you could always hang that sweet charming toy by its neck on the antenna of your car (and I mean Popeye, not the tickler).
Posted by: Laura at August 1, 2003 12:42 AMI, for one, do not appreciate your using your humble audience to hash out your emotional issues.
Pay a therapist. It's the right thing to do and it helps the economy. Otherwise, the terrorists win.
I'd rather put me hand up Olive Oyle, ack ack ack ack ack ack ack!!!
Posted by: rankin rob at August 1, 2003 3:47 PMRankin', I think the most frightening thing is the concept of Popeye in a gingham night gown.
Posted by: Kim at August 1, 2003 5:16 PMI'm sitting here wondering how hard the seller was laughing as he/she packed this thing up for shipment.
Posted by: serenity at August 1, 2003 8:09 PMSerenity, that seller was shitting their pants, because you NEVER KNOW when something like a hand puppet is going to go nuclear. Having said that, we're talking five dollars here.
Posted by: Kim at August 1, 2003 8:59 PMyr not gonna bleeve this. I waz searchin' for a Popeye hand puppet for a friend and my google led me to you. Wanna sell it? You could turn a nice profit on yr $5. I'd go six, easy.
No kiddin'' contact me.
CD
Posted by: charles darwin at October 26, 2005 10:14 AM