July 25, 2003

RESPECT, MON

So did The Bride get a picture of Velocimon doing the 33 foot cliff at Rick's Cafe? Nope. Got me at the top, and got the splash. Shit. Probably shaking too much thinking about my accidental death policies. I do have a nice impact bruise on my bicep I can share, though.

Which was a better outcome than the girl who jumped after me. She landed in the sitting position. When she climbed out of the grotto her back from above her butt to her ankles looked like raw cube steak. It even knocked her Mortal Kombat tattoo sideways. To make matters worse the impact ripped the fucking nose ring right out of her head, so she was bleeding from inside and outside her nostril. She was rightfully crying. Happy Honeymoon, baby, and didn't that buzz vanish in a hurry? Just like the sex opportunities for the idiot who talked her in to it.

Posted by Kim Crawford at July 25, 2003 6:59 PM
Comments

I did a backflip from there, hit the water like a knife and STILL ripped the black coral necklace from around my neck. I came up, swam to the steps and heard some sweet young thang ask, "Could you do that again? I missed the picture."

So, fully fueled on Black Beauties, Red Stripe and ganga, I climbed back up there and did it again. That's when the pretty lady I was with took control and told me to stop being a crazy bastard and scaring the shit out of her like that. Besides, I was pissing off the Rastas who dive for tourist tips. Yeah, they were giving me the hairy-eyeball and grumbling. Fuck 'em.

But I quit diving after that.

Posted by: Acidman at July 27, 2003 6:57 AM

Heh. Gotta love those nose ring-wearing pansies.

Posted by: Da Goddess at July 29, 2003 6:27 AM

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Romania.

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